The New Recruit
by Agent HUNK
Summary: The Hellsing Organization has slowly rebuilt itself after the Incognito fiasco. But the fools working there will probably tear it down. And the threat of Millenium is no help, either.
1. Chapter 1

Finally, a chance to write. Well, lets get this show on the road. By the way, this is based after the end of the anime. Since it gives no definite closure, I figured this wouldn't be too deep in plot holes.

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Alucard was sitting at a table in his room, feet propped up on a chair and a wine glass full of blood in his hand. He was rather bored these days. After the Incognito fiasco, Hellsing had been put under heavy investigation. But it eventually became apparent that Incognito had caused the conflict, and Integra was cleared of all charges. They where able to clear most of everything else up, though it took many mounds of paper work and several highly paid lawyers. And of course, nearly all of the staff and soldiers had been killed during the battle at Bloody Tower. Alucard took a sip of blood and decided to listen in on what was beeing said around the mansion.

The mansion was nearly deserted, due to the lack of manpower. The Hellsing Organization was being run on a skeleton crew, and new members where becoming harder to find. Seras was still getting the hang of most of her powers now that she was a full vampire, and she was currently sleeping in her room. Walter was in the kitchen, preparing a meal for Integra. And his Master herself was in her office, reading over some files. There where some soldiers in the break room playing poker, and the two guards on the roof where having a conversation about the attractiveness of Seras Victoria. 'I believe it may rain tonight. I hope you don't slip and plummet to your deaths,' he whispered into their thoughts. Their conversation immediatly switched to sports. He then decided it was time to go pay his Master a visit.

As Integra surveyed the files in her hand, she realized she was being watched. She gazed up and found Alucard hanging from the ceiling, his eyes scanning the papers on her desk. "What are those supposed to be?" he asked, dropping down and picking up a few for closer inspection.

"Applications," Integra responded, taking them back from him and setting them on her desk.

"For what?" Alucard raised an eyebrow. "Why do we need applications for grunts? Can't we just recruit some foreigners like last time?"

"These are for officers. I already have infantry being recruited, but we need officers, and perhaps a few spare opperatives for when you and Seras are already on duty." Integra adjusted her glasses, then handed Alucard a folder. "Read this. I think it looks promising..." Alucard picked up the folder and examined the files inside it. The person detailed within was already a member of Hellsing, but he seeked a transfer from the smaller American branch. Some parts of the file peaked his interest.

"He specializes in ghoul suppression?" Alucard noticed a description of his special attributes. "Profficiancy with close quarters combat. Standard tactical knowledge. Basic medical understading." He handed the file back to his Master. "He does look like an interesting candidate. When will he be arriving?"

"In an hour. I want you and Seras to stay out of sight. So sense telling him more than he needs to know before the proper time," Integra warned.

"Of course, my Master," Alucard bowed. He then turned and phased through the wall, flashing his trademark grin as he did so. Integra sighed, then took a cigar from her desk drawer.

"Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a long day?" Integra muttered as he searched for a lighter.

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Well, hopefully it wasn't to boring. Thanks for taking the time to read. I'll write a new chapter later.


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter up and running. Hope you like it.

By the way, I DO NOT OWN HELLSING. I don't own any copyrights or legal rights to ANYTHING. Check my profile... see? Nothing! So no lawsuits, please.

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Alucard drifted from room to room, plotting ideas and plans to screw with the new recruit. Reach through a wall and grab him? Chase him as a dog? Give him nightmares of disturbing proportions? He would have a hard time deciding, and he only had less than half an hour before the candidate got here. That reminded him, he needed to go wake up Seras. Travelling to the basement, he didn't bother with any warnings, and simply phased through her door. He found her dangling upside down from the ceiling asleep, arms crossed, and feet hooked over the blades of the ceiling fan.

Alucard was glad that his fledgling was now a true nosforatu. But the fact that she was hanging upside down like a bat was a bit... embarrassing. He flipped the switch next to him without a second though. Seconds later, Seras dropped to the ground, face first. "OUCH!" she yelped as she smacked the floor.

"Seras Victoria, while it may come natural to hang like a bat, I'm afraid vampires of high class, such as ourselves, sleep in coffins," Alucard had taken to calling her by a proper name now that she had 'grown up'. Seras scrambled off the ground and dusted herself off. "Although, I'm glad to see you aren't fighting back against your instincts as much."

"Is there something you needed?" Seras rubbed her neck, trying to ease the pain. Had she been human, she would have gotten a broken neck or a concussion. Or both.

"Master wishes for us to stay out of sight. A prospective recruit will be arriving soon, and she does not wish for us to terrify him. Though I don't see why she is worried about you," Alucard laughed at the frown on Seras face. Just because she was a full vampire now didn't mean he couldn't cause trouble for her. He suddenly picked up a strange noise coming from aboce ground. It sounded like a motercycle. "Oh, he's here. Time to dissappear!" With that, Alucard faded away. Seras sighed, and decided to hide out in the armory and clean her weapon. No sense in wasting time...

Meanwhile, Walter was oppening the door for the new recruit. Expecting to see somebody... strange or eccentric like most specialized operatives, he was suprised to find a man in full regulation Hellsing garb standing at the door. He was suited up in the regular fatigues, kevlar, mask, and helmet of a generic soldier. Walter smiled, and motioned for him to enter. "Welcome to the Hellsing Estate. I will lead you to Sir Hellsing's office."

"Excellent," the man replied. "Lead the way."

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Stupid, yes. Senseless, yes. Funny, I thought so. I just randomly thought 'Hey, don't vampires also sleep upside down in some shows?' So I figured Seras could test the theory...


	3. Chapter 3

Woohoo, chapter 3. Special thanks to Keith B. Real for reviewing. He's the only person who did, of course.

Oh well, on with the show.

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Integra leaned back in her chair and surveyed the soldier standing in front of her desk. He was standing at attention, saluting her and waiting to begin the interview. "Please be seated," she gestured to the chair next to him. He quickly did so without a sound. Integra opened up his file again and looked through it. "So... you're name is... H?" Integra raised an eyebrow at the name.

"Yes, Sir Hellsing," the man replied. "H."

"Interesting. So, what makes you think you are qualified for the main branch of Hellsing?" she thumbed through the pages, waiting for a reply.

"I understand you are short on manpower, and I always wanted to visit England," he said in an upbeat tone. Integra wondered if that was a serious answer.

"Right. It says here that you specialize in anti-ghoul operations. Care to elaborate?" she questioned.

"I kill ghouls, and I do a good job. That's all there is to it," he shrugged.

"Anything else?" she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk.

"As in monsters? Oh... uh, well I've killed a few vampires," he pointed at the file. "My kill record is on page seven." Integra shifted the pages until she found it.

"I see that you have gathered quite the record. 217 ghouls, it says. That is far more than any other Hellsing soldier, except for a few of my more special operatives," she explained. In the hallway outside, Alucard smirked as he listened in on the conversation. "So what is your opinion on vampires in general?"

"Vampires in general? Well, for the most part, they are evil and need to be destroyed," he stated. "But there are some exceptions."

"Exceptions?" Integra raised an eyebrow. As did Alucard.

"Yes, Sir. Haven't you ever met a... well, I suppose 'tame' couldn't really fit the situation, but..." he replied.

"I believe I understand. You've met one of these 'tame' vampires?" Integra had a feeling he would respond well to meeting Alucard.

"No, Sir. But I have heard about them," he leaned back into his chair.

"Hm. Well, moving on. What weapons do you specialize in?" she asked him. He sighed and leaned his head back.

"Shotguns, pistols, sniper rifles, grenades, crossbows..." he counted on his fingers. "If it shoots, I can use it."

"No knives?" Integra realized that a knife-wielding trooper wouldn't make a good comrade for Seras.

"Not really..." he mused. "I don't really like knives. I'm skilled with them, but I tend to use more unconventional melee weapons."

"Such as?" she wondered what else anybody would use.

"I killed 23 ghouls with a fire axe once," was his reply.

"Oh. Well, that answers my question. Also, I presume you are a member of the Christian faith?" Integra pointed at a small silver cross hanging from around H's neck.

"Oh, yes. Baptist, to be exact," he replied with his normal cheerful tone.

"Excellent. Well, I suppose everything is in order. You meet our standards, and you seem to be capable of upholding your duties. I'm pleased to welcome you to the Royal Order of Hellsing Knights," Integra reached out and shook his hand.

"Thank you. But one thing is bothering me," he suddenly dropped his tone to a whisper.

"What would that be?" Integra asked, lowering her tone to match his.

"I have no idea where anything is. Do you think Walter could show me around?" he asked.

"Of course," she had been worried he would ask about something involving Alucard at first.

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'The new recruit seems promising,' Alucard spoke mentally to Seras as he quickly made his way to the basement.

'Oh really? What is he like?' she replied while in the process of taking her Halconnon apart.

'He's Catholic, and he fights with knives,' Alucard lied. He heard a scream come from upstairs. 'No, not really.'

'MASTER! Do not joke like that!' Seras mentally yelled at him. She still had a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorderbecause of Father Anderson. Alucard's torture didn't help her.

'He's a normal human. He is skilled in fighting ghouls, and his name is H,' he explained.

'H?' she hadn't expected a name like that. In fact, that wasn't even much of a name, in her opinion.

"Yes, and I think Master plans to pair us all up together.' Alucard scowled. He prefered to work alone. Seras as a partner was no a problem. But a human as a comrade would be trouble. Sticking a feeble mortal with Hellsing's two biggest danger-magnets would be asking for bad things to happen. 'Oh, he's on the move. Time to get to work!'

'Master, what are you going to do to him?' Seras wondered.

'Introduce myself. That is all...' Alucard assured her.

'Just don't scare him away before I can meet him,' she pleaded.

'I won't make any promises,' Alucard said as he headed off to cause trouble.

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3 chapters down, many more to go. Hopefully more people will be polite and review. Suggestions for this story would also be appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Special thanks to Morality and Keith for reviewing, and the people who favorited and alerted this story. I enjoy the fact that you enjoyed it! Again, suggestions would be appreciated.

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Walter and H had toured the 3rd floor, and they where now on the 2nd floor. H was paying close attention to every detail, no matter how minute it was. Walter had been told Alucard and Seras where staying out of site, so when he opened the door to the armory, he hadn't expected to see Seras's suprised face. "Oh crap!" she exclaimed, dropping the disassembled pieces of her Halconnon. Walter quickly slammed the door.

"Oops. I'm sorry, I forgot that the armory was closed!" Walter tried to pretend that nothing was going wrong. Integra didn't want H meeting the vampires just yet. But now that plan was in jeapordy of failing.

"Hold on a second!" H said, grabbing the door handle and flinging the door open. At that point, the plan was dead and buried.

"Oh crap!" Seras screamed again as H barged into the room. Did he know what she was? Of course. Why else would he have just charged in there like that.

"I have some questions for you!" H pointed at her, and quickly walked across the room. Face to face with her, he crossed his arms and prepared to question her. "So... what kind of guns do you have here?" Seras's fear was replaced by confusion.

"Huh?" she stared at him in bewilderment. Walter let out a sigh.

"You're in charge of the armory, right? I was hoping you could hook me up with a shotgun..." H said happily as he looked over at a rather appealing Remington hung up on the wall.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. You can have it," Seras fumbled for words, still stunned from the fright she had just experienced.

"Sweet. Do I have to sign it out or anything?" H seemed to always be in a cheerful mood.

"No, just don't lose it," Walter instructed.

"Alright. Thanks a lot... uh... what did you say your name was?" H scratched the top of his head.

"It's Seras. Seras Victoria," she replied.

"And I'm H," he told her. "Thanks for the shotty, Seras." With that, he walked out the door, followed by Walter, who closed the door behind them. Seras sat down and let out a long sigh. That had been close. Too close.

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Outside, Walter had resumed giving H a tour of the mansion. As they walked down the main hallway on the second floor, H suddenly stopped moving. "Did you hear that? I thought I heard barking..."

"Barking?" Walter enquired. "We don't have any dogs here, so I-" he froze. His ears picked up the sound of an animal panting.

"Do you hear that?" H asked. He turned around and screamed as a large, black dog lunged at his throat. It soared through the air, mouth open, fangs bared. He ducked to the side, narrowly avoiding its gaping maw. As the dog circled around and jumped for a second strike, he flipped the shotgun around and held it by the barrel. As the dog flew at him, unable to change course, he swung the shotgun like a bat. The stock of the gun made contact with the beasts nose, and sent it reeling through the air. It yelped, then ran down the hall, disappearing into the shadows. "I am so sorry. I hope I didn't hurt it," he told Walter in a worried tone.

"Uh... don't worry about it. Special... attack dog... must have got loose!" Walter assured him.

"Oh. I meant the shotgun," he held up the weapon, surveying the stock for any damage. Walter raised an eyebrow at the man's apparent obsession with the implement of death. "But I was worried about the dog. I thought it may have been Sir Hellsing's pet. I thought she would be firing me before I even started working."

"Don't worry. She won't fire you unless you try to kill another Hellsing member or something of the sort," Walter explained.

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"He tried to kill me!" Alucard roared in anger at Seras. "The insolent fool tried to kill me!"

"Master, he was just scared. I don't think-" Seras tried to calm him down.

"I don't care! Nobody strikes me and goes on without consequence!" With that, he faded from view, leaving Seras all alone in the armory yet again. She let out another sigh and looked at the pieces of her gun.

"At this rate, I'll have it back together by Tuesday," she lamented. The boom of a shotgun suddenly sounded off, and two loud screams where heard. "Make that Friday," she commented to herself, running to the door and heading off to see what had happened.

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Ooooh, conflict. Just what this story needs! Other than reviews and suggestions... Hah hah.


	5. Chapter 5

Alright, chapter 5. Sorry for the first couple being so short. I know how annoying it is to read short chapters.

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Seras raced to the source of the noise. She found Walter and H at the bottom of the main stairway, both of their eyes wide with shock, and a smoking shotgun clutched in H's hands. A large hole had been made in the ceiling, and bits of plaster where dropping from it every few seconds. Just as Seras was going to ask them what had happened, Sir Hellsing's voice boomed into their ears.

"WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED HERE!" she screamed, storming onto the scene. Walter and H stared at her, then at each other, then at the gun. Both of them where still in shock and where having trouble speaking. "WELL!"

"I... uh..." H croaked at last. "I tripped while going down the stairs. It felt like something grabbed my foot... I lost my balance and fell, hitting Walter on the way down. We both rolled down the stairs, and when I hit the bottom, the shotgun went off. I had NO idea it was loaded. It just went 'boom!' when it hit the ground..." H looked up at the ceiling, then at Integra, who was beside herself with anger.

"WHAT KIND OF DAFT IDIOT ARE YOU! WALKING AROUND WITH A LOADED SHOTGUN! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A SAFETY!" she ranted on, sending H further and further into a state of terror.

"I tripped! I'm sorry! But I could have sworn something grabbed me by the foot and pulled it out from under me!" H pointed at the staircase, his finger trembling. From the shock of the blast or the fear of Integra, it could not be determined.

"That is not the point..." Integra sighed. "You should be more careful. We have enough problems without our soldiers blowing their own heads off." She then turned to Walter. "Show Mister H to his quarters." Walter got to his feet, bowed, and led the shell shocked operative away. After they where gone, she turned to Seras, who had been silent since the beginning. "Why aren't you hiding?"

"Well, I was in the armory, and he came in. He thought I was in charge of weapons, so he asked for a shotgun. I let him have it, but I didn't know it was loaded, honest! Then he left. Master tried to mess with him, and apparently H smacked him in the nose with the stock of the gun," Seras retold the days events. Integra rasied an eyebrow at the last bit.

"He hit Alucard in the nose?" she was suprised by that feat.

"He was in his dog form..." Seras replied. "Then Master came back and said he would get even or something like that."

"Even? So I guess I was right..." she mused.

"About what?" Seras asked.

"Nothing. Just go back to the armory, or wherever you need to be," Integra ordered. Seras saluted, then left. After a few seconds of deep thought, she felt Alucard's familiar presence behind her. "Alucard..." she started.

"Yes, Master?" he grinned.

"ARE YOU BLOODY MAD!" Integra wheeled around and let loose her anger on yet another victim. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about," he replied calmly.

"Oh, so you have no idea why H tripped and blew a hole in the roof?" Integra pointed up at the crater.

"No. Not really," he shrugged.

"Indeed..." Integra sarcasticly told him. With that, she walked back to her office. Alucard smirked, then faded through the nearest wall. He still had plans for the new recruit.

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"Don't take it personally. She yells like that at everyone," Walter tried to convince the traumatized man. H merely let out a whimper. 'Hard to believe this guy is capable of whole-sale ghoul slaughter, yet he can't take a simple scolding from Sir Hellsing," he thought to himself.

"I'll just have to keep out of trouble," H seemed to be returning to his normal mood.

"That's the spirit. Well, this is your room," Walter gestured at the door in front of them. "If you need any further questions, I will be in the kitchen fixing dinner."

"Thank you Walter. Good bye," H said, opening the door and stepping inside as Walter left. He closed the door, then leaned against it and let out a sigh. "Good grief, why did I come here? I didn't realize that everybody in England is crazy..." H conversed with himself. As he tried to figure out everything that had happened, a pair of white-gloved hands slowly phased through the door. They where barely and inch from H's throat when he suddenly lunged forward, spun around, and raised the shotgun at the door. The hands where now holding a large silver handgun. "Well that's interesting," H muttered.

"Do you really think that will hurt me?" said a voice as the free hand pointed at the shotgun. H chuckled.

"Of course not, vampire. But I figured it would slow you down..." H tossed the shotgun over his shoulder onto the bed behind him.

"Are you sure you want to put it down?" the voice asked.

"You haven't killed me yet, so I doubt you are going to. Besides, you left the safety on," H warned the gun wielding limb. A silence passed, and the hand tilted the gun upwards to check the safety.

"There isn't a safety on this g-" the voice was interupted by H as he kicked the door outward. The door swung into the hall, sending a few splinters from the wall and breaking the handle. A wickedly smirking Alucard was left standing in the hall, gun still trained on H. "Oh, that was smooth."

"Thanks. So you're Alucard?" H asked. Alucard let out a small chuckle, and then returned the gun to the inside of his coat.

"You know of me?" he was suprised by this.

"You have a reputation within the vampires. I interogate the occasional one for info," H explained as he checked the splintered door. "Dang, Walter is going to kill me."

"What else do you know?" Alucard picked up a rather large splinter and threw it over H's shoulder.

"You like to cause trouble, and you are essentially an unstopable beast," he replied. Alucard grinned his trademark maniac smile.

"Interesting. So, do you know anything else about me or my associates?" he enquired.

"Nope. Just you. In fact, I've only met Sir Hellsing, Walter, and Seras Victoria," H checked around the room for anything he could use to fix the door.

"They are really the only people worth getting to know," Alucard said as he leaned against the door. It fell off its hinges, leaving Alucard perfectly balanced against nothing.

"Yep, Walter is going to tear me apart," H lamented.

"No he won't," Alucard turned to leave. "He'll slice you apart." With that, he faded into the shadows, leaving a worried H behind.

"I'm so screwed," he muttered.

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Well, that could have come out funnier. Oh well... I'm sure I'll think of something funny. I have a few ideas in store for later, though...


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to Morality for the review and the advice. On with the show!

Still don't own Hellsing. Don't expect that to change. Ever.

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Seras walked down the hallway that lead to H's room cautiously. The shotgun fiasco had occured an hour ago, and she hadn't heard much from anybody since except for Walter. He had asked her to go tell H a few things since he was busy. As she neared his room, she was met with an odd sight. Several layers of duct tape had been placed around the door, hinges, and surrounding walls. She slowly walked over to it and surveyed the many cracks that decorated it, as well as the splinters still on the floor. She also noticed a footprint scarred into the wood. She shrugged, then knocked on the door three times. Several seconds of silence followed. Without warning, the door fell inward, leaving Seras standing in the doorway with an expression of shock upon her face.

"Hello, Seras Victoria," H said cheerily. He was sitting on his bed, reading through a book. His shotgun was laying at the foot of his bed, disassebled and in pieces. He had also left the window shade open, allowing sunlight to flood the room. It didn't bother her that much, but she prefered to avoid it. "What brings you to my humble abode?"

"I'm sorry about the door!" she squeeled, walking into the room and reaching down to grab the door.

"It's alright. I put it on backwards anyway. Walter is going to tear me apart... or slice me apart, according to Alucard," H replied in a somber tone.

"You mean you met-" Seras realized that her Master could be the only explination for the door, and the shotgun incident.

"Yes, I met Alucard. He was interesting, to say the least," H chuckled, putting down the book. "I didn't expect to meet Hellsing's vampire so soon. I figured that if the rumors where true about Hellsing having one, it would stay out of sight for a long time. Who knew it would come after me?" he chuckled again.

"There where rumors that we had a vampire working with us?" Seras was curious as to what was known about her Master, or herself.

"Yes, but I discounted most of them. I heard there where actually several people of interest... a female vampire, a man who could cut through steel with the flick of his wrist, an a few other things. But since the one known as Alucard was most mentioned, I figured it had some shred of truth. The others are probably just speculation. Or am I mistaken?" H arched an eyebrow and got up off the bed.

"Well," Seras started to think. "There may have been some truth to the other ones..."

"Oh? So there really is another vampire under the command of Hellsing?" H turned to face her, waiting to hear more. "She isn't as mischevious as Alucard is, I hope... One potention threat is enough."

"No, she's rather tame if I do say so myself," Seras realized that he thought she was human. "Wouldn't hurt a fly. And Alucard just likes to fool around with new recruits."

"You don't say... oh, did you come here for something?" H realized that she probably didn't knock down his door just to chat.

"Oh right, Walter wanted me to tell you that dinner will be ready in half an hour, and that your luggage and personal belongings will be arriving in three days. Hellsing made sure to ship them the moment you where accepted," Seras explained. H listened, arms crossed, nodding his head every now and then.

"Well, that's good to hear. By the way, I can close the shades if you want. I should have offered earlier, seeing as how uncomfortable sunlight makes vampires," H was grinning beneath his mask. Seras stared at him in confusion.

"How did you know?" she asked curiously.

"When you walked into the room, you stood in the only spot that didn't have sunlight on it. When I got up, you shifted sideways slightly so you could be in my shadow. Subconscious decision, judging by your suprise at being found out... betrayed by your own instincts, I suppose," H explained as he closed the window shade, darkening the room. Seras, now able to move freely, walked over to the bed and picked up the book he had been reading.

"Sunlight doesn't hurt. It just feels a bit uncomfortable," she told him. "What's this book?"

"Oh, it's just a guide to vampires. Picked it up in Romania a few years ago before I joined Hellsing. I thought it would be an interesting read... little did I know it would end up helping me out," he picked up a few pieces of the shotgun and began to put them back together.

"How did you join Hellsing?" she enquired.

"Oh, that's a long story, and dinner will be ready soon. Tell you what... come back by here next time you get the chance, and I'll tell you. If you'd like, I'll let you know about some of my previous missions, as well. In return, I ask that you tell me about your missions, and give me some advice on dealing with Alucard. Deal?" H stuck out his hand to shake on the agreement.

"Deal," Seras accepted his handshake. His eyes widened as she gripped his hand. "Oh, sorry. Don't know my own stength. Oh, and may I suggest silver items to deal with Alucard? They won't kill him, but they'll put him in his place. Usually... well, dinner is almost ready. I'd better go see if I can help Walter with anything. Good bye!" Seras waved as she walked out of the room. H waved back, and then clutched his throbbing hand as soon as she left.

"Crap, that hurt... she sure does have a firm grip," he said, massaging his hand. As Seras walked down the hallway, Alucard materialized behind her.

"Traitor," he hissed, causing Seras to give a victory smirk.

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Hurray, yet another completed chapter. Thanks for reading this far. If you haven't lost interest yet, I must be doing something right!


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, seriously. I'm getting offended. There are at least 100 hits per chapter (1200+ in all), and only two people have been kind enough to review. Until people grow some manners, no more updates after this one. I'm pretty hurt by the lack of kindness.

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Integra drummed her fingers on the table, growing impatient at the latency of her subordinates. Walter stood directly behind her, a bottle of wine in one hand and a plater of glasses in the other. "I'm getting tired of waiting," she informed Walter, her voice laced with annoyance. As if on cue, Alucard materialzed in the chair to her right, placed near the center of the long table. He smiled when he saw the look of impatience on his Master's face.

"Did I keep you waiting?" he asked, as if trying to drive her insane.

"You, your fledgling, and the recruit need to learn something called PUNCTUALITY," she placed heavy emphasis on the last word. His response was a shrug. He eyed the glass that had been set in front of him.

"Is that wine?" he didn't bother to hide his distaste.

"Yes, it is. No sense in disgusting the new operative on his first day. And you don't exactly drink blood with much class..." she informed him.

"Master, I doubt a vampire drinking blood without class will disturb somebody who has killed... how many did he kill with a fire axe?" Alucard replied. Integra shot him a glare, then turned her attention towards the door as it flew open. Seras scramlbed into the room and quickly took her seat opposite of Alucard.

"Sorry, I didn't realize how late I was," she apologized.

"So you knew you where late to begin with?" Alucard asked, trying to make her feel stupid. It worked. She shot him a glare almost as hatefull as Integra had done seconds before. Without warning, the door flew open for a second time. This time, a breathless H stumbled through the doorway, panting heavily and near exhaustion.

"Sorry... I'm late... ran... all the way... got lost... in mansion... fell... dwon the stairs... again!" he explained between ragged breaths.

"Indeed. Take your seat, please. Walter, if you will, please bring out the food now," Seras spoke softly, caring little about H's problems as he collapsed into his chair at the end of the table.

"So... what's for dinner?" H gasped.

"Steak, corn, and salad," Integra motioned towards Walter as he pushed a cart loaded with trays into the room. H's eyes lit up, and he hastily removed his gloves. As he was about to remove his mask, he paused.

"Why are you both drinking wine?" H looked back and forth between Alucard and Seras. Alucard gave an 'I-told-you-so' look towards Integra. "If it is so you don't bother me, relax. I've seen things you could never dream of... well, Alucard probably could," he could tell by the annoyed look on his boss's face and the triumphant expression on Alucard's that he had hit the nail on the head. Walter set down a large plate piled with food in front of him, and prepared to pour wine into his glass. "No thank you. I'll just have some water," he held up his hand in protest. Walter smiled, then returned to the kitchen to fetch the water. "So, who is going to say the blessing?"

"That would be me," Integra replied. They bowed their heads, and she led them in prayer. Upon finishing, she took a sip of wine. At the same time, H removed his mask, causing her to choke. Seras stared wide-eyed in shock, and Alucard flashed a toothy grin.

"What?" H asked, looking back and forth between his dinner mates. He appeared quite normal, with dark brown hair pulled back into a short pony tail, and a thin layer of stuble around his chin. But the right side of his neck was sporting a rather gruesome scar. It was a large bite mark, with clearly defined fang marks in some areas. However, it was more beast-like in nature than a human or vampiric wound. "It's the scar, isn't it?"

"That's very interesting," Alucard spoke up after several seconds of awkward silence. "Most people could not have walked away from a wound like that. You must be resiliant, to say the least."

"Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment. I've walked away from quite a few injuries..." he scratched his chin, then picked up the knife and fork set down before him. "I just hope it doesn't suprise Walter like it did y-" he was interupted by the sound of glass breaking. They all turned to see a shocked Walter hasitly trying to clean up a broken glass of water. "Nevermind..."

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Ooooh, the mysteries of H grow more... mysterious. But like I said, no more updates until I get some well-deserved recognition. Plenty of people have read this story, so it can't be all that bad. PLEASE REVIEW!


	8. Chapter 8

Woohoo, reviews! Special thanks to the people who reviewed. They have my gratitude and respect. Well, after a few brainstorms, I came up with a few great ideas. Now, if some of you do not like them, please, by all means, voice your concerns. I want to know what you think. Well, lets get on with the show, shall we?

Heads up: I do not own Hellsing. Big suprise!

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H and Integra had nearly finished their meals, while Alucard and Seras simply relaxed and took occasional sips of the blood now in their glasses. Walter had been dismissed by Integra, so he had retired to his quarters. As Integra finished her meal, she withdrew a cigar from her pocket. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"Not at all, Sir Hellsing. Thank you for being so kind as to ask, though," H replied, pushing his plate to the side. "That was excellent. My compliments to the chef... well, I suppose I might as well explain myself." Integra and Seras both focused their attantion on him instantly. Alucard seemed to be indifferent.

"Explain yourself?" Integra asked as she lit the cigar. "In what way?"

"Well, for starters, the scar. And Seras wanted to know how I joined Hellsing. But we'll start with the scar. It all started with the P.R.A.S. unit I was in-" H paused when Seras raised her hand. "Yes?"

"What is that? P.R.A.S.?" she leaned forward, eager to learn more about her new comrade.

"Paranormal Response And Supression," Integra told her as she exhaled a cloud of smoke. "It's a special unit that deals with things other than vampires. It's usually where Hellsing gets its recruits. Is that how you got into Hellsings, H?"

"Hah... correct," H smirked. "But it took the total destruction of my squad for me to finally join. But that story will be told later. For now, the scar." He pointed at the affor-mentioned injury. "This came from a Chupacabra."

"A chuba-what?" Seras blinked, confused and lost.

"Spanish for 'Goat Sucker'. It sucks the blood from goats and chickens, according to Mexican legends. They are reported in certain parts of Mexico and Texas," Integra seemed to know more about the subject than expected.

"Yes, but the one I fought was in Texas. And everything is bigger in Texas. Reports said it was a simple mop-up operaton. The thing had cleaned out a few farms, and my team had been covertly called in to eliminate it. But, to our suprise, it was a "Chupacabra Grande". We found it on a farm around nightfall. It had killed all the cattle, and the owner of the farm had called the police. We had been on stand-by... so in we went, and in we died. Three of my comrades where shredded, and I was the one it decided to drink from," H pointed at the scar again.

"And yet here you are, alive and well. How does a human survive being mutilated by a vampiric beast?" Alucard commented.

"I'm hard to kill. It missed my major arteries, but it still tore me up pretty badly. I managed to get my gun loose from my holster. The thing might have stood up to a farmer's .22 hunting rifle, but a point blank shot from a .357 Magnum put it out for good," H formed the shape of a gun with his hand. "Bang. Thing was down, and I passed out. Woke up a few days later in a hospital. Doc said I was lucky... my superiors told him it had been a coyote. Haha... he believed it, too."

"Well, that was an interesting tale," Integra remarked. "You must be very lucky when it comes to injuries."

"Oh, you have no idea," H leaned back into his chair. "I've had worse..."

"You aren't human, are you?" Alucard said with a smirk. Silence fell upon the room, and H returned the smirk.

"Human, you ask? Well, what defines a person as human?" he replied.

"Answer the question," Integra suddenly commanded him. H's smirk faded.

"I consider myself to be human. But with all the wounds I have recieved, I wouldn't be suprised if I turned out to be a freaky vampire, chupacabra, and whatever else hybrid mutant thing," he shrugged. Integra studied him with a piercing gaze, then stuck her cigar back in her mouth and closed her eyes.

"That is good enough for now..." she told him. H smiled, then leaned forward.

"So, who wants to hear another story?" he asked. Seras smiled and raised her hand, and Integra waved her hand in an 'I-don't-care-get-on-with-it" manner. Alucard still seemed to think it was a waste of his precious, yet unlimited, time. "Excellent. Give me a second to think of one... oh right, how I joined Hellsing. It's not much to it, really. I was part of a SWAT team in a small town. A vampire made snacks out of a few residents, and soon ghouls where crawling all over the town. Well, Hellsing's American branch and P.R.A.S. held a joint operation, and I was the only survivor. P.R.A.S. found me first, and my survival impressed them. They asked me to join, and I did. Later on, Hellsing asked me to consider joining them. It wasn't until I went on a mission and lost all my comrades and the entire squad under my command that I actually considered joining. A couple of years later, I heard the top ranks of Hellsing where hurting and needed new recruits. So I volunteered. That's about it..."

"Interesting. How did you survive?" Seras asked him.

"Which time? The town was simple. I barricaded myself in a gun store after my team got whiped out trying to rescue some survivors. I used every bullet in the store, too. The time I lost my team and comrades... well, that is not a tale for today. I'm sorry," he told them. Seras frowned in dissappointment, Integra nodded in acceptance, and Alucard leaned back into his chair and laughed.

"You seem to be incredibly hard to kill. The only survivor in several instances, and even having your neck ripped apart didn't end your life. There is truly something about you I should know..." Alucard ajusted his glasses and studied H intently. "Regardless, you may have use to us. I shall enjoy seeing you in action on our next mission."

"That means he likes you," Seras whispered. Alucard glared at her. "Or not..." H shrugged again and smiled.

"Well, I suppose I've kept you all entertained long enough. Sir Hellsing, shall we end this dinner?" he looked at Integra. She nodded, then stood up and exhaled a large cloud of smoke.

"I, too, wish to see you're combat abilities in action. I will be sure to send you on the next available mission with Alucard and Seras. Now, you may return to your room if you wish. Or you may explore the mansion. Just don't cause trouble, or interupt me in my office. Good night," she turned and left the room. Alucard dissapeared into a cloud of dust shortly afterwards, and Seras left to go take a walk now that the sun had set. H decided to head back to his room for a minute. When he got back to his quarters, he found a note on the floor in front of the door.

"Dear H," it read. "The door will be coming out of your paycheck. Signed, Integra."

"Crap..." H groaned.

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The plot thickens, doesn't it?


	9. Chapter 9

Woah, that's a lot of reviews, and a whole lot of hits! Oh, I also just got Volume 1 of the Hellsing manga. "Wow" is all I can say. It is, in my opinion, better than the anime. Hm... Don't be suprised if a few manga characters show up eventually. Now I just have to think of how to work them into the plot.

Oh, and I'm sorry for the time it took me to write this. A few things came up in the process... I hope it meets your expectations!

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H was bored. It was nearly 1:00 AM, but he wasn't tired yet. Of course, he was also afraid to leave the safety of his room. Alucard was most likely waiting for him somewhere, ready to pull a trick or something. As he sat at the foot of his bed, with his newly adjusted shotgun laid across his lap, he tried to keep himself awake by reading his book on vampires. "There's always something interesting in here..." he muttered as he thumbed through the pages. However, fatigue had taken its toll, and H soon fell asleep in the middle of a chapter comparing the traditional character of Dracula to Nosforatu. He fell backwards and sprawled out on the bed, quickly descending into a deep slumber.

At this moment, Alucard decided it was time to strike. He slowly phased through the wall and crept towards the bed. He waved his hand in front of sleeping soldier's face, and was glad to see no reaction. He had decided to see first hand what went on inside the sleeping operative's mind. With a toothy grin, he faded into mist and dissappeared from view.

---

Integra took off her glasses and rubbed her sore eyes. She'd been doing paperwork for hours on end, and she had a killer headache. She leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes, hoping they would stop hurting after a few seconds. But before she knew it, she was asleep. The door to her room creaked open, and Walter walked in with a tray of tea. He froze upon seeing her asleep, and quickly performed an about face and marched out of the room as quietly as he could. He gently shut the door behind him, and let out a small sigh. He turned around and shouted upon finding himself face to face with Seras. "Where'd you come from?" he quickly lowered his voice to a whisper.

"I'm looking for Alucard. Have you seen him? I think he is going to do something stupid..." she told the butler as he peeked back into the office to ensure Integra was still asleep. Thankfully she was, and he quickly shut the door.

"No, I have not seen him. If I do, I'll tell him you are looking for him," Walter promised her.

"Thanks, Walter. Goodbye," she bid him farewell and headed off to find her Master.

---

"Hm..." Alucard's face was wearing a bemused smile. He was standing in the center of a city street, rain falling from the night sky, and not a soul in sight. Skyscrapers and tall buildings, the likes of which he had never seen before, surrounded him on all sides. "Quite a dull dream, if you ask me..."

"Nobody did, Alucard. So keep it to yourself," came a snappy comeback from overhead. Alucard looked up and noticed a familiar face peering down from a broken window, a shotgun clutched in his hands. "What I would like to know is 'why are you here?', though."

Alucard flashed a grin, and quickly jumped up and through the second floor window. "Watch your tongue, human. This may be a dream, but I can still make you miserable. I'm here to dig up some dirt on you. I was hoping your dreams would be more flash-back centered, considering how much time you spent telling stories. It seems I was wrong..."

"Meh, not entirely wrong. This is my 'endless Chupacabra' dream. I blame the Chupacabra fiasco. Wave after wave of the little critters come at me... but since it is a dream, I have a shotgun that never runs out of ammo. But they never die... they just go to sleep or go play basketball once they've had enough. My dreams can be quite wierd..." H explained. As if on cue, a small creature appeared out of nowhere and dove at H's face. It was green, had scales, fangs, claws, and bat wings. "Speak of the Devil!" H smacked the beast with the stock of his shotgun, knocking the creature across the room and out the window. Alucard looked out and saw a limitless sea of green monsters. H frowned, and then shrugged.

"I see. Well, this was a waste of time, it seems. I'll just be on my way, then..." Alucard cracked his knuckles and prepared to exit H's subconcious.

"Hold on," H held up his hands. "You can go to other people's dreams, right?" Alucard raised en eyebrow. "Who else is alseep?" Alucard remained silent for a few seconds.

"Let me see... oh look, my Master has fallen asleep in her office. I suppose I could go see what she is dreaming about," he mused.

"What about me?" H asked, a sly smile spreading across his face.

"I've never really taken a person from their dream and into another person's. I suppose it is possible. But there may be side affects. Or you could end up trapped in her mind, unable to return to your own. The risks are too great, so I suppose-" Alucard didn't have time to finish the sentence. Without warning, a chupacabra jumped onto his face and began poking him in the eye. Alucard cursed and threw the thing bodily out the window.

"Hey, you're the biggest, baddest vampire I've ever met. You can walk through walls, mess with people's dreams, and all sorts of crap. I'm sure this will be no problem for you," H obviously knew exactly how to inflate a vampire's ego. "If anything goes wrong, you can most likely fix it."

"Hm..." Alucard contemplated on his options. He could leave and return to reality, go to Integra's dream by himself, or take H with him. However, the Chupacabra that randomly bit him on the knee made him jump to a conclussion. He let out a yelp, and there was a brilliant flash of light.

---

"What happened?" Alucard blinked his eyes a few times, trying to take in his new surroundings. He was sitting in a theatre, surrounded by nicely dressed people. And he had a friend with him.

"Wow, that was interesting. Is this another dream?" H looked around the spacious room.

"I suppose. That thing suprised me. I don't sense things as well in dreams... they're too random and undefinite. But this doesn't seem like my Master's dream," Alucard informed him.

"Why is that?" H asked.

"Because Walter is playing the piano," Alucard gestured towards the stage. Sure enough, the Hellsing butler was performing a beautiful piano concerto. "Hm... interesting. He must have fallen asleep a few minutes ago without me realizing it."

"This is a bit confusing," H scratched his head.

"Don't worry. Your feeble human brain cannot comprehend-" Alucard's insult was interputed by a swift kick in the shin. "Yeow!"

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And now the fun begins. Hahahaha... suggestions are, as always, greatly appreciated.


	10. Chapter 10

Alright, we made it to chapter 10. I might go back through eventually and condense a few chapters into one, but it will be awhile before I do that. Right, well, lets hope this nets me some reviews.

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Alucard and H, or at least H's mental representation of himself, had somehow gotten into Walter's dream. The butler was giving a piano performance, and several high class people had shown up. The two Hellsing soldiers where in the back row, unsure of what to do next. "Well, time to go," Alucard told H.

"Aren't we going to mess with him?" H pointed at Walter, who had not noticed them as of yet.

"Hm? Like what?" Alucard arched an eyebrow.

"Well... we did sort of bring another friend with us," H pointed down. A chupacabra was laying at his feet, curled up and asleep. Alucard thought for a few seconds on what to do.

As Walter finished out the last few notes of the song, he was met by a gruesome suprise. A small, green, scaly creature with bat wings soared through the air and smacked into his face. "What in the world is this thing?" he screamed as the creature climbed around his head and started to bite his ear. He threw the creature off of him, and saw H and Alucard in the back rowing laughing hystericly. "Why, you no good..."

"That was great!" H roared.

"He never saw it coming!" Alucard could barely control his laughter. However, he stopped laughing instantly the moment the his hat split in two. He looked up and saw Walter standing in front of him, piano wire laced between his fingers. And he looked mad. "Um... hello, old chum."

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Walter stated, his voice filled with seathing anger.

"Uh... Alucard?" H raised his hand politely.

"What is it? I'm a bit busy..." Alucard replied, taking a few steps backwards down the eisle as Walter inched closer.

"Is Integra still asleep?" H asked. Alucard smirked, and in an instant, the two men had disappeared, leaving a stunned Walter behind.

"That was bizarre... bloody vampire," Walter turned around, only to find himself face to face with a Chupacabra. "Oh, hello..."

---

H and Alucard found themselves sitting at a table in a dim-lit room. They where surrounded by old guys, who didn't even notice them appear from nowhere. "Where are we?" H examined his new surroundings.

"A Round Table meeting. This must be Integra's dream," Alucard informed him. Alucard suddenly froze, a look of terror smeared across his face.

"Woah, what's wrong with you?" H waved a hand in front of the vampire's eyes. Alucard slowly pointed behind H. He turned around and also froze in terror. "Oh, she's going to tear us apart for this..."

Standing before them was Integra, giving a speech on the current progress of Hellsing's rebuilding. She was pointing at a chart covering in graphs and charts, and was highly focused on her topic. She was so focused that she didn't realize that she was missing most of her clothing. It appeared that she was having one of 'those' dreams, and she was standing before the entire group in only her underwear. "As you can see by this chart here, we..." she ranted on, unaware of her condition. H's face turned a bright shade of red, and Alucard's only turned slightly pink due to his pale complexion. They both quickly covered their eyes to lessen the amount of trouble they would be in.

"You know, I hate these kind of dreams," H whispered to Alucard.

"I only dream about killing people," he replied, leaving H a bit bothered.

"You're peeking, aren't you?" H whispered after a few seconds. Silence was his answer. "Right, well... what should we do?"

"I suppose we should get out of here before we get caught," Alucard suggested.

"Great idea, lets-" H froze. Integra was no longer ranting on about mission statistics. "Uh oh."

---

Walter yawned as he sat at the desk in his room, his hands wrapped around a glas of tea. He had been awake for a few minutes now, having been woken from his slumber by a bizarre nightmare. 'No sense in sleeping if it's going to be troubled,' he thought to himself. Just then, he heard a familar voice let out an ear-piercing shriek.

"ALUCARD!" Integra's voice echoed through the entire house, waking several slumbering soldiers. Walter shrugged it off, figuring that the vampire was up to his normal tricks. "H!" she screamed out. Obviously, they had both done something seriously bad. The truth suddenly hit Walter like a ton of bricks.

"Those bloody idiots..." Walter muttered as he took a sip of tea, intent on ignoring the whole situation altogether.

---

H and Alucard where standing in front of Integra's desk. She was standing on the opposite side, her hands planted firmly on the desk, and her face flushed with anger, embarrassement, or a mixture of both. "I should kill you both," she hissed. H let out a whimper of fear, and Alucard even seemed a bit worried.

"Um, would it help if I said I was sorry?" H squeeked. A harsh stare was all he got as an answer. "I suppose not..."

"Alucard, explain. NOW," she ordered her loyal servant.

"Well, I went into H's mind while he was asleep in order to learn about his past. I figured he might have a flashback dream. This led to that, and we ended up in Walter's dream. We caused a bit of trouble for him... it's actually a funny story," Alucard smiled. Integra didn't seem to be in the mood for funny stories. "We then went to your dream. We had no idea you where having... that kind of dream. We where just about to leave when you noticed us." Integra seemed a bit unbelieving on the last part.

"We covered our eyes, at least!" H interjected. He quickly shut up when Integra glared at him. "Sorry, I'll stay quiet."

"I'm not sure what sort of punishment is required for this sort of thing. But I'll figure something out. Alucard, no blood for 4 days. H, I'm docking your pay for a month," she told them. Alucard's face fell drasticly, and H hung his head in shame. "Now get out of my office. If anything like this ever happens again, I will kill you both. And yes, Alucard, I will find a way to kill you." The two Hellsing members made their way out of the room and into the hallway outside, and Integra slammed the door behind her.

"That was not good," H sighed when they where safely out of earshot.

"At least she didn't fire you," Alucard leaned against the hallway wall.

"Yeah, you have a point. Oh well, we deserved it," H turned to walk away. "By the way, if I catch you in my dreams again, it won't be pretty."

"Is that a threat?" Alucard smirked, but H ignored him and walked away. "Hm... well, that was interesting. But I've still got a few hours of nightfall to kill. What to do... what to do..." Alucard muttered to himself as he faded into the shadows.

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My humble attempts to add some actual comedy to the story. You know, I have a funny story involving the Chupacabra being thrown at Walter. I was standing under a broken lightbulb, and as soon as I came up with that idea (it was the first idea I had for the chapter), the lightbulb clicked on. Wierd, huh? Hahah... please review!


	11. Chapter 11

Yet another chapter, fresh out of the oven, baked with kindness and love. And twisted humor... but that's a secret ingredient.

Okay, so I picked up another book when I got Hellsing the other day. "Waking up Screaming", a collection of stories by the horror writer H. P. Lovecraft, who is famous for his disturbing tales of macabre terror, and the Cthulhu Mythos. I'm a big Lovecraft fan, and Hellsing was actually partially inspired by his works in some ways, big and small. The stories are awsome, edge-of-your-seat thrillers that delve deep into the human psyche and show you what true terror is. Clearly, H. P. Lovecraft was the greatest horror writer of all time.

I just felt like filling you all in on a little bit of literature. Also, I may bring up a few things from the Cthulhu Mythos in this story. Hah hah hah... just a heads up. Also, thanks for the good reviews. I'm glad you all enjoy the story.

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Seras had searched every place she could think of, and the sun would be rising soon. Alucard was nowhere in sight, and she couldn't sense his presence. There where still a few places she hadn't checked yet, however. She decided to head up to the roof and search up there. She ascended the stairs, opened the door to the roof, and found it deserted. Or so she thought at first. H was leaning against the edge of the roof, his arms crossed, and his eyes lifted towards the sky. "Huh? What are you doing up here, H?" she asked as she walked towards him. He jerked backwards slightly, but then smiled.

"Hah. You scared me, Seras. I was just star-gazing," he pointed upwards at the star-speckled sky. "There is no moon out tonight, but it's still beautiful."

"Have you seen Alucard?" she leaned against the wall beside him.

"Not since our little adventure which nearly got me fired. Don't ask..." he sighed. Seras followed his advice and quickly dropped the pursuit of the subject.

"I've been trying to find him and ask him something all night," she told him. "But I can't find him."

"What did you need to ask him?" he enquired. Seras stopped to think for a few seconds.

"I forgot, actually," she laughed. "I've been so busy, I completely forgot what the question was." H joined in the laughter, then stopped. He noticed two soldiers on guard duty on the opposite side of the roof.

"Hold on. I'll go ask them if they know where he is," he told her as he headed over to them. Apparently, years of avoiding the attention of monsters had honed his sneaking skills, because he approached them undetected. As he opened his mouth to ask them about Alucard, he fell silent upon hearing the subject they where discussing.

"I heard he can kill vampires with his bare hands..." the soldier on the right whispered.

"No way. I heard he could kill ghouls with his bare hands, but a full vampire? There's no way," he left one retorted.

"You forget that all vampires are not as strong or as tough as Alucard," the right one corrected him.

"Well, that is true. But they are still pretty tough to kill. He may be a vampire killing-machine, but not with his bare hands. What did you say his name was?" the left one asked.

"I think it was 'H'. What kind of twit uses a name like 'H'?" the right one joked.

"The kind that can kill you without much effort. And yes, I killed a vampire with my bare hands once," H suddenly spoke up, leaning between the two soldiers. A tense silence befell them all, and the soldiers where obviously terrified. "He killed all my fellow operatives, but when he got to me, I showed him what the meaning of pain was. You two don't seem like you've seen much actualy combat, so the brutal details of what followed would probably make you vomit," he spoke with a solemn tone. "Now, anything else you two would like to know?" Neither of the soldiers said a word. "Good. By the way, have you seen Alucard lately?" Again, absolute silence from the two men. "Alright then. Thanks for your help." With that, he turned around and walked away.

"I think my life flashed before my eyes. Twice," the soldier on the left croaked at long last. The other one simply fainted.

---

"They didn't know anything..." H informed Seras upon walked back over to her.

"Oh well. I'm sure he'll turn up eventually," she shrugged.

"Sorry I couldn't be of much help. See you later," he bid her farewell, then headed through the door and down the stairs. Nearly dead with fatigue, he returned to his room to sleep. But yet again, there was a note on his door. "What is it this time?" he groaned as he pulled it off the door.

"Get some rest. You might be going on a mission tommorrow," the message read.

"Great..." he let out a small moan, then pocketed the piece if paper and turned the door handle. The door fell off its hinges, not suprisingly. It hill the floor with a dull thud, leaving a stunned H in the doorway, his hand still gripping a broken knob. Without warning, he let out a angry shout and hurled the knob at the ground. It bounced back and struck him in the knee, causing him to hop around in pain before loosing his balance. "Yeowch!"

"Having a bad night?" Alucard's voice filtered through his ears.

"Alucard, Seras has been looking for you," H politely told him, staggering to his feet and looking around for the vampire. "Where are you?"

"I'm downstairs," came his reply. H looked down at the floor. "Yes, I'm talking to you telepathicly."

"What do you need, anyway?" H stepped over the remnants of his door and tried to pick it back up. He lifted it back into place, took a step back, and then jumped out of the way as it fell back down at him. "Curse this door to an eternity of pain and suffering!" he barked. It appeared that his patience had died a long time ago.

"Control your temper," Alucard advised him. "And I just wanted to say hello."

"Hello. Now let me go to bed," H growled, kicking the door and then walking over to his bed. He pushed the shotgun out of his way so he could lie down, and it fell off the bed. It hit the floor, and the shock caused the gun to fire. The boom resounded through the mansion, and H had barely ducked in time to avoid an unwanted lobotomy. The wall behind him was now sporting a large hole in it. "CRAP!"

"H!" Integra's voice echoed through the mansion once again.

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Poor H just can't catch a break, can he?


	12. Chapter 12

So, suggestions, anybody? Anything? Anything at all? ... I guess not.

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"You cannot be serious!" Alucard snarled, slamming his fists on the desk in front of him. Seras and H both took a step backwards from the angry vampire, while Integra didn't even flinch.

"I assure you, I am serious. The terms of the meeting are that neither you nor Alexander Anderson are to be brougth along to the meeting. Instead, two other bodyguards are to be selected," she calmly explained to her enraged servant.

Alucard slowly turned towards his two comrades and pointed at them. "Them?"

"Yes Alucard, them. And Enrico Maxwell has stated that no weapons are to be brought along," Integra turned to H and Seras. "However, I assume that you two can still fight without weapons. Am I correct?" Seras grinned in a manner similar to Alucard, and H popped his knuckles menacingly. "Wonderful. The meeting is to take place in three ours at 7:00 tonight. You two are to rest and prepare for anything. And just so you don't feel left out, Alucard," she smiled at her frustrated Servant, "I already have a mission prepared for you."

Alucard's spirit seemed to pick up slightly. "Oh really?"

"Yes. It seems there was a schedualing mistake. It appears our next group of likely recruits is to be interviewed at the same time as my meeting with Maxwell. So you are to interview them in my place. I trust you will be capable of this?" she looked at him sternly over the rim of her glasses. Alucard scowled.

"I'd say we've gotten enough new recruits," he hissed.

---

Slivers of wood and splinters filled the air as yet another target was hit by gunfire. H was half-way through the obstacle course, a shotgun clutched in his hands and a .357 magnum revolver strapped to his waist. Integra and Walter surveyed his progress from a catwalk over the course, while Alucard and Seras slept through the daytime. "He has good aim," Walter noted.

"Indeed. I can see why he prefers shotguns. So far I haven't seen him fire a shot without destroying the target's vital areas," she replied. Yet another target exploded into sawdust, and H slung the shotgun over his shoulder. He drew the revolver and spun the chamber, then twirled the gun around his fingers a few times. He then proceeded to completely destroy the next target's cranial area. "And he has finess with a pistol, as well."

"But how well does he do in unarmed combat? He can't bring weapons to the meeting," Walter reminded her.

"H, you've proven your skill with a gun. Now kill the next target without one," she ordered. He shrugged and holstered the revolver. As soon as the next target popped up, he was in motion, running towards it. He ducked to the target's right side, crouched low to the ground, and then sprang up at it with stunning spead. He slammed his right hand into the target's neck area, causing the head to break off and fly into the air. Without missing a beat, he smashed his left hand through the target's chest area, his arm going through the target up to his elbow. H then pulled his arm out and rubbed his hands.

"Wow," was all Walter could say.

"I can see why he specializes in ghoul surpession. He's a killing machine," Integra stated as she pulled a cigar from her shirt pocket.

"He's like a human version of Alucard," Walter pulled a lighter from his pocket and let the cigar for her.

"I wouldn't go that far. He's good, but no where near that good," she exhaled a cloud of smoke. "I suppose we should finish this up. The meeting is in an hour."

---

The meeting was to take place in a small restaruant in London. At precisely 7:00, Integra walked through the doors of the restaraunt, flanked by Seras and a plain-clothesed H. Integra had on her normal suit, Seras had her normal uniform on, only without the Hellsing emblem, and H was wearing blue jeans, a red shirt, a brown leather jacket with the collar turned up, and a blue baseball cap.

"Ah, welcome, welcome!" came a jovial greeting. Enrico Maxwell was seated at a table with only two chairs, and a tea tray set upon the table. "I see you brought two guards with you. They will have to wait outside at a table with mine while we confer. Feel free to order dinner, as I will be paying any costs incurred during this meeting." He must have wanted something big if he was acting so nicely.

"I appreciate your kindness," Integra politely replied, "But I would prefer to have some protection beside me."

"Integra, as previosuly stated, my guards are outside as well. So there is nothing for them to protect you from, and I'm not stupid enough to try anything. So please, take a seat and have some tea," he gestured towards the empty chair.

"Alright. You two wait outside. This probably will not take long," she told H and Seras. They nodded and headed back outside to find their table. Once they where gone, Integra walked over and took her seat. "Now, what is it that you want?"

"You always wan't to cut to the chase. Can't we just enjoy a peaceful cup of tea?" he smiled innocently.

"No," was her reply. "Lets get this over with. I have other important matters to attend to."

Maxwell's smile faded slightly. "I'm sure you do. Well, in that case, lets get down to business."

---

The two Hellsing soldiers and the two Iscariot members stared at each other from opposite sides of the small table, an awkward silence over them all. Maxwell's guards where two women, one dressed as a priest with sunglasses, and one was a nun wearing glasses. Finally, H broke the silence. "He said we could order dinner, right?" Seras nodded, and H picked up a menu and surveyed it. "Hm... he said he was buying, right?" Again, she nodded. "Great! In that case, I'm in the mood for steak!" he grinned. The two Iscariot operatives looked at each other, and then back at him. Obviously, they where not impressed.

"You're American, aren't you?" the bespectacled nun asked him. "I thought only British people could work in Hellsing."

H smiled. "Yes, I am American. How could you tell?"

"You have ze mannerz of a pig," replied the other woman with a heavy German accent.

"Thanks. And I think non-British people are allowed if they meet certain standards," H explained.

---

Alucard leaned back in Integra's chair. "What did you say your name was?" he asked the man sitting in front of the desk.

"Pip Bernadotte," was his answer.

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PLOT TWISTS! I hope I got all the personalities right. I was only able to see Maxwell in the anime, I skimmed over the few Hellsing mangas and read about Pip, and as for Heinkel and Yumiko... well, according to Wikipedia, their personalities in Crossfire and regular Hellsing are different. So just so everybody is clear, I'm going by Crossfire because that is all I have right now. Right, well... I hope you have all enjoyed this story so far. Suggestions are still being accepted. So if you want to see something, let me know.


	13. Chapter 13

Woohoo, just picked up Volume 2 of Hellsing! Going to read the rest of it once I finish this...

I DO NOT OWN THE LEGAL RIGHTS OF HELLSING.

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"So I have the manners of a pig, eh?" H leaned forward and put the menu back on the table. "Well, in that case... please accept my humble apologies for any offense that I have caused," his attitude and mannerisms had changed abruptly to those of a high class and civilized individual. Seras and the two Iscariot guards where clearly taken aback. "I also would like to take this opportuinty to inquire as to what your names are, if I may be so bold as to ask. Pray tell, what might they be?" It was as if he had become another person.

"My name iz Heinkel," said the sunglassed woman. "Und I hate sarcazm."

"And I'm Yumiko," replied the nun. "Wow, that was a total shift in mannerisms."

"Thanks," H smirked, returning to his old self. "I can be classy when I need to be, Miss Yumiko." Seras stared at him in utter confusion.

"You wouldn't happen to have multiple personalities, would you?" she asked, causing him to laugh and Yumiko to grow slightly tense.

"Hahahah, very funny Seras. But no... anybody else starving?" he looked around for a waiter.

---

After half an hour, the door to the restaraunt opened and Integra strolled out, clearly on the verge of insanity. "That twit... I should have known he'd just want to extend the border further into Hellsing territory," she muttered to herself as she scanned the outside tables for her bodyguards. She spotted them sitting with two women she assumed to be Maxwell's guards. H was just finishing what had once been a large steak, and Seras was obviously uncomfortable with the two Catholic guards being in such close proximity. The guards themselves appeared bored out of their minds. H quickly put down his eating utensils and jumped to his feet upon seeing Integra.

"Have you finished the meeting?" he asked, pushing his chair against the table.

"Yes, and it was a waste of time. Let's get back to Headquarters before things get worse," she seemed to have no patience at the moment, what-so-ever.

"Worse? What do you mean worse?" Seras asked as she got out of her seat.

"Walter just informed me that the new candidates have not gotten along well with you-know-who. Apparently, he doesn't like French people that much," she slapped her forehead. "No doubt I will have to deal with him myself..."

H shrugged. "The candidates or you-know-who?" Not suprisingly, a glare was all he got for an answer. A few moments later, a limo pulled up in front of the restaraunt. Walter stepped out and held the door open for Integra, followed by Seras and H. The butler then returned to the limo and drove them away. Maxwell stepped out of the restaraunt and strode over to his two guards.

"How did ze meeting go?" Heinkel asked.

"It could have been better," he frowned. "What did you learn about her guards?"

"Well, the man in the jacket is named 'H', and the girl is a vampire named Seras. He tried to cover it up and said she was pale due to a long time in the hospital after a car accident. Apparently, he thought we couldn't see the fangs..." Yumiko explained.

"You're bill, sir," a waiter suddenly walked up to Maxwell and handed him a slip of paper. Maxwell stared at the bill, then groaned.

"You've got to be kidding me..." he sighed.

---

"ALUCARD!" Integra screamed when she walked into the Hellsing manor. Instantly, he was in front of her bowing on his knee.

"Yes, my Master?" he politely answered.

"Where are the candidates?" her voice was filled with frustration.

"Walter is interviewing them. Apparently, he thought I did a bad job..." he responded with a shrug.

"I need a vacation..." she was on the verge of cracking up. As if on cue, Walter came strolling up to her with a file folder in his hand. "Yes, Walter?"

"There's a situation in a small town known as Roderig. It seems several people have dissappeared. The police officers sent to investigate have not been heard from in three hours," Walter handed her a folder full of files and intel reports.

"Indeed? Well, in that case... Alucard, I want you on standby. Seras, H... go prepare for combat," she ordered her subordinates. Alucard bowed and melted through the floor, while H and Seras saluted and then headed off in their seperate directions. "Walter, where are the prospective recruits?" she suddenly remembered her primary problem.

"The men are currently residing in the armory, and their commander is waiting in your office. I think they will serve as prime operatives. Although, it is up to make the final choice. Do you want me to-" Walter was interupted by Integra's hand being held up in his face.

"Stop! Stop right there! I don't care anymore! Recruit them, give them weapons, and then tell them about the vampires. They're all going to die anyway, with our luck. I honestly don't care anymore..." she snapped. It seems the night had taken its toll on her, among other things.

"Uh... yes, Sir Hellsing. I will inform them at once," he bowed. "I will go to the armory and-" Once again, Integra interupted him.

"Wait, the armory? Didn't I just send H and Seras to... uh oh," she began to formulate possible fiascos in her mind.

---

H quickly changed into his faitgues and kevlar, picked up his shotgun and revolver, and then headed for the armory. He was in dire need of ammo, having spent most of it training. "Lets see... do they have silver shotgun slugs? I suppose I should also pick up a knife, just in case... but then again, how often do I need one?" he questioned himself as he headed up the stairs and down the hall to the armory, whistling as he went. He opened the door, casually walked into the room, then froze. "Woah, now..."

He was surrounded by a rather rag-tag bunch of soldiers, all of whom seemed as confused by him as he was by them. "Uh... hi?" he greeted them, waving slowly. This caused a few of the soldiers to chuckle. Just when the situation couldn't get more awkward, Seras strode through the door. As soon as she took two steps into the room, a series of whistles and cat-calls went off. "Oh, this is going to be interesting..." H muttered.

"Did I miss something?" she was obviously not happy with the crowd of men gawking at her.

"About as much as I did..." H calmly replied. Without a moment to spare, Walter sped into the room.

"Oh thank goodness, you haven't killed anybody yet. Ah, Masters Victoria and H, may I introduce you to your new subordinate soldiers?" H gestured towards the soldiers.

"Subordinates? I didn't sign on to get bossed around by some chick!" one of the soldiers spoke up.

"Oh, my mistake. Would you rather serve under our resident vampire, Alucard?" Walter offered the soldier an alternative. This resulted in a barrage of laughter.

"Vampires?"

"You're bloody mad!"

"What kind of joke is this!"

"There's no such thing!"

Walter smirked at their remarks. "You don't believe in vampires?" This nearly doubled the laughter. "Well, in that case... Miss Victoria? If you don't mind?"

"My pleasure," she grinned. She walked over to her Halconnon rifle and pointed at it. "You guys want to help me with this?"

"Sure," a few soldiers offered to help her with the heavy weapon.

"Nevermind, I think I can get it," she suddenly picked it up with one hand and rested it on her shoulder. Several explicative phrases where emitted by the soldiers watching. "And by the way, vampires are real. We just don't let witnesses survive to tell the truth," she smiled innocently.

"Right, well... who wants to come with us on our mission?" H asked cheerfully. "Show of hands?" Not suprisingly, nobody moved a muscle. "Oooookay then... nevermind."

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Hey, I think this may be the longest chapter I've written so far. Hooray! Thanks for reading so far! You deserve a cookie! Too bad I don't have one on hand... lol.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey there, everybody. Not much new, other than I got Volume 2 of Hellsing. Great book. Oh, and the world has gone crazy and chaos has spread across the globe. Other than that, not much is new.

Why must mankind be so dumb?

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The commander of the Wild Geese, Pip Bernadotte, stood near a window in Integra's office, looking at his reflection and playing with his hat. "For the leader of some secret organization, she sure is late..." he muttered to himself.

Somebody coughed behind him. "I've been here for the past three minutes. You really should pay more attention," Integra informed him as he turned to face her.

"Oh, good evening Lady Hellsing. My name is Pip Bernadotte. It's such an honor to-" Pip was interupted by Integra's hand being forced in front of his face.

"I know who you are. I read your file. And you're hired. Right now, I have other things to worry about. Would you mind moving out of the way? I need to get to my desk..." she motioned him to the side. He silently stepped out of her way, and watched her open a drawer in her desk. "Aha, just what I need..." she triumphantly held up a bottle of headache medicine. "I have a horrible migrane, and these should help."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lady Hellsing. Um... what would you like me to do?" he asked her, hoping for orders to keep him from being bored out of his mind.

"For now, I just need your men on guard duty. There is a mission being prepared, but none of your men are highly trained enough for that. Unless they know how to fight vampires, which I doubt," she told him as she popped a couple of pills into her mouth.

"Hah... hah hah..." Pip chuckled sarcasticly. "Normally I'd say something about vampires not existing, but... that guy in red proved me wrong."

"That reminds me, how did that go?" Integra was curious as to how badly the interview had gone. She took her seat at her desk and began to search it for a cigar, but was dissappointed to find none. "Oh bugger..."

"Oh, it was great. Just great. Hey, did you know that that guy in red can walk through walls?" Pip seemed to be slightly unnerved. "Yeah, he just waltzed right through the wall and sat down in your chair."

Integra raised an eyebrow. She would have to punish him for touching her chair. "Go on..."

"Then he started asking me about what type of weapons my men where trained with. Pray tell, since when do silver bullets come as standard issue? He seemed to think all soldiers used them!" Pip was becoming more and more unnerved. Apparently, Alucard had obviously screwed with his head.

"Are you alright?" she was getting slightly worried for the poor man's sanity.

"Alright? Of course I'm alright. I've just been forced to forsake everything I held to be true about vampires and what-not, but other than that psychological blow, I'm bloody fine!" the mercenary had obviously had his head screwed with by Alucard. To what extent, Integra was afraid to know. "What did I do to get myself into this situation? I'm working with a vampire!"

"Two vampires," Integra held up two fingers. "You'll be working with two." Pip's complexion grew pale.

"Two?" he croaked.

Integra nodded. "Yes, two. And I assume he explained about the difference in ghouls and freaks?"

"Yes," Pip scowled. "The freaks are vampires, the ghouls are zombies. He pointed that out to me..."

"Excellent. Well, that covers about everything. I'm glad to have you working with us, Mr. Bernadotte. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them," Integra explained.

"Am I going to die?" he groaned.

"Not likely, unless you do something very stupid," she comforted him. There was a knock at the door, and Walter walked int othe room, followed by H and Seras. "Ah, is everything in order?"

"Yes, Sir Hellsing," Walter bowed. "Everything is prepared."

"Excellent. Mr. Bernadotte, meet your fellow operatives, Seras Victoria and H," Integra gestured towards the two soldiers.

"H? What kind of name is that? I mean, really... wh-" Pip was interupted by H.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't comment on your name, Mr. Burnt-Toast. So back off..." H had finally lost patience with people questioning his name. Pip chuckled at the remark.

"I seem to have struck a nerve. I'm sorry..." Pip smirked. "And greetings, Miss Victoria."

"Hello," she waved.

"By the way, she's the other vampire," Integra suddenly informed Pip, causing him to turn pale and take a few slow steps backwards.

"Oh relax, I won't bite," Seras grinned, revealing her fangs. Pip let out a small whimper.

"My gosh, what did Alucard do to the poor guy?" H asked Integra.

"I honestly have no idea, and I am afraid to ask," she replied. "So, are you both ready for your mission?"

"What about Alucard?" H looked around the room. "Isn't he coming?"

"No, he is to remain on stand-by. It's only a small scale outbreak, so you two should be able to handle it, I trust. You are to be dropped down in the center of the town via helicopter. Seras is to take up a sniping position atop the town hall, and you are to hunt down the vampire responsible for the killings," Walter explained their entire mission to them.

"Helicopter? Isn't that a bit obvious?" H asked.

"The police helicopter that circled the town earlier reported several burning buildings and a gathering of people in the town's center. Judging from this information, it is assumed that there are no human survivors," Walter replied. "This is a classic vampire tactic. Kill the population, gather a ghoul army, and then conquer the next town. You are to make sure he does not follow through with the last part of the plan."

"Alright. When do we leave?" H checked his watch.

"Right now," Integra told him. "You already placed your weapons in the vehicles, I assume?"

"Yes, Sir Hellsing," Seras ansered.

"Excellent. Good luck, and good bye," Integra bid them farewell as Walter led them out of the room. After a few seconds, she turned her attention back to Pip. "Are you alright?"

The pale mercenary turned to face her, his face gaunt with terror. "No. I'm bloody terrified of you people..." he answered weakly.

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Aw, poor Pip. He had a bad day... hahahah. Well, next time we'll get to see how well H does in combat. Lets hope he doesn't get cut up in the crossfire. Heh heh...


	15. Chapter 15

Let sum up everything that has occured thus far in this tale.

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1- Hellsing, having been cleared of treason against the Crown, went about recruiting new soldiers after the Incognito fiasco.

2- An operative known as H was recruited. He specialized in anti-ghoul combat and supression tactics.

3- H and Alucard nearly killed each other, and H had a nice chat with Seras.

4- The Hellsing household had a nice dinner, during which H told a few stories about himself. Apparently, he hates chupacabras.

5- Alucard hijacked H's dreams in an attempt to learn more about the new operative.

6- Alucard and H caused chaos in Walter's dream, and found themselves in a bad situation when they entered Integra's dream.

7- As punishment for their actions, H lost a month's worth of his salary, and Alucard lost all access to blood for four days.

8- Integra took H and Seras with her to a meeting with Enrico Maxwell. Several odd conversations ensued.

9- Alucard interviewed Pip Bernadotte, and terrified the poor mercenary beyond all belief.

10- H and Seras where sent in to clean out a town full of ghouls, while Alucard was kept on standby in case things turned sour.

---

Well, that covers just about everything. Feel free to ask about anything you don't understand.

Or offer suggestions.

Or both.

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"This is Seras Victoria. I have assumed my position atop the town hall. There appears to be a large congregation of ghouls near the West side of town," Seras spoke into the microphone clipped to her uniform's collar. "No sign of the head freak, though. H, what is your situation?" she questioned over the radio.

"_Czzzzrk..._ Yeah, I'm hanging out in an alley. _Crzzzzzzrrrk..._ The West, you say? I'll head over there and take care of the ghouls," he replied over the static-filled frequency.

"Please don't take too long," replied the voice of Integra Hellsing. "Remember, we have to get this done with before the vampire moves on to the next town."

"Relax. _Criiiiirrrrxxxk..._ This will be a walk in the park for me. Seras, I'll try to lure the vampire out, and you take him down. I don't want to tangle with a freak while dealing with the ghouls... _Krrrrrxxxxxxxk,_" his voice was barely audible over the static.

"Alright. Don't get yourself into too much trouble," Seras warned him. With that, she shifted into a prone position atop the roof and adjusted her rifle. She took aim in the general vicinity of the mass of ghouls, and waited for H to start his diversion. Seconds ticked by, and eventually she began to wonder what the hold up was. "Is he going to attack them or what?" she muttered.

The sound of a shotgun blast was her answer. The army of ghouls swivelled around as a whole to face the source of the noise. They discovered a kevlar-clad soldier strolling out of an alley, a smoking shotgun held in his grasp. He pumped the shotgun's slide, ejecting the empty shell and loading a new one into the barrel, and then brought the gun to bear against the mob of zombies. "Don't let me down, Seras," H spoke into his microphone.

"I won't," she smirked, readying herself to open fire. She then watched in awe as the fresh Hellsing recruit cut down the ghouls like they where barely a problem. He casually fired into the approaching army as they advanced towards him, arms outstretched and mouths open wide. Seras was shocked at his effeciency, as well. For every trigger pull, at least two ghouls dropped. Finally, as the swarm of zombies encroached upon the sole soldier, H reached for the revolver holstered on his belt. He brandished it, and without hesitation, fired into the nearest ghoul.

"Hey, can I have a hand?" he casually asked Seras over the radio as he stopped to reload. Instantly, the line of ghouls directly in front of him was cut down by a large projectile, and the echoing boom of Seras's Halkonnon resounded through the town. "Thanks." With unmatchable speed, he reloaded the revolver and then the shotgun. "A little bit more help, please," he requested. Once more, several alarmingly close ghouls dropped at once, and the sound of the Halkonnon boomed yet again. "Thanks."

"No problem," she flipped on her radio and informed him. "I'd say you've killed out half of them..."

"Great," he replied into his microphone. "I'm just getting started." However, a sudden burst of static caused him to cringe. "What was that?" he rubbed his ears.

---

"Walter, what's the problem?" Integra turned to face her loyal servant, who was busy working with the radio system. They where both in a large tent, just outside of town, where Hellsing had set up a blockade around the infested area.

"We've lost contact with them, Sir Integra. It appears something has happened to the signal. Fear not, however. I am sure they can handle themselves without our supervision," Walter assured her.

"Place Alucard on immediate standby. I have a bad feeling about this..." Integra warned.

---

"Hey Seras, can you hear me?" H spoke into the static filled frequency.

"Yeah," he heard her voice reply, but not from the radio. She was speaking from indie his head, much to his suprise. "The radio is out."

"Wow, telepathy. I knew Alucard could do it, but..." H casually spoke out loud as he fired into the still approaching horde of undead zombies. "Wait, you can hear me from over there?"

"Yep," she answered mentally. "I can hear you loud and clear, even at this distance."

"Wow... wait, so you heard me on the roof with those two soldiers?" he asked as he ducked beneath an axe-wielding ghoul, then fired into it at point blank range.

"Yeah, that was a funny lie you told them," she told him.

"Yeah it was, wasn't it?" he didn't feel like telling her it was true. "Say, I'm running low on ammo. Don't you have some sort of crowd control shells? Incendiary rounds or something?" Almost as soon as he finished speaking, the swarm of zombies was aflame. "Wow, napalm. Nice..."

"That should finish them off..." she informed him.

"Great, now to take care of the head vampire," H looked around himself, but saw no sign of any freak. "I don't see him..."

"Look out!" Seras suddenly exclaimed. H spun around and looked up. A vampire was falling straight at him, it's arms outstretched and it's fangs bared.

"Found him," H raised his shotgun to fire. At that very moment, the vampire suddenly transformed into a cloud of sand. The heavy sediment fell upon H, blanketing him in ash and soil. "Ew..."

"Nice shot," Seras remarked.

"I didn't kill it," H replied. _Clank_. Something hit the ground beside him. He looked down at his feet for the source of the metallic sound, and saw something laying on top of the sand. He picked it up and looked it over. "This looks like something you'd see in a museum," he mused as he surveyed the antique socket bayonet.

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Dun dun... DUN! Plot twist and a cliff hanger. Hope you enjoyed reading thus far!


	16. Chapter 16

Hurray! Past 4,300 hits and still growing! Awsome... and quite a few reviews, as well. I'm currently considering a few other story ideas, but I'm not sure of how well they would do. Also, I may revise this entire story at a later date, once it is over. Re-do the whole thing, I suppose. Because I could have made a few better ideas at some points... hm, well, no matter. As long as you all enjoy the story.

Anyway, I'm thinking of doing a short story fan fic, with little mini-stories each chapter. Hellsing, of course. But I don't know if I could supply enough stories for it. I'll probably start on that once this is about done. I figure... 25 chapters for this. Then maybey a sequel if enough readers support that idea. Well, on with the story.

Also, if you don't like certain things about the story, please inform me. Because believe me, the plot twists have only just begun.

Another thing worth mentioning is that I just saw the Hellsing OVA. Found it on and I must say, it was awsome. It is basicly the exact same as the manga, but with one or two slight differences. Much better than the original anime, I'll admit. And it had a LOT more blood, to say the last. Quite horrific, actually. But it was a good show, and well worth watching.

Same as always, I don't own the rights to Helling!

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"What is it?" Seras asked H as he studied the blade in his hand.

"Oh, nothing. Just some old knife. Vampire must have had it on him... well, I'm going to head the the extraction point. I'll meet you there, alright?" H checked to make sure his weapons where reloaded, and then holstered them.

"Alright. Watch your back, though. There might still be a ghoul or two nearby..." Seras warned him as she stood up and stretched on top of the roof.

"Thanks. Well, goodbye," H replied, and then headed into the alley he had come out of earlier. "Well, this whole mission turned out rather well..." he muttered to himself as he casually walked through the shadows making his way to his destination. After a few minutes of walking, he slowed down and stopped. "I think I'm lost," he groaned.

He walked out of the alley and into a deserted street, hoping to catch his bearings. Hoever, the sound of footsteps caught his attention. He spun around, gun drawn, and surveyed the empty street behind him. "I could have sworn there was somebody there..." he shifted his eyes back and forth, and then shrugged. He turned back around and began to walk again. Instantly, he collided into a large object. "Oof! Wassat?" he wobbled around as he tried to regain his balance.

"Watch yer step," came a heavily Irish voice. "Say, yer one o' them Hellsing fella's ain't ya?" the man leaned down slightly. The dim glow of a nearby streetlight reflected off the man's glasses eerily.

H smirked. "And you're from Section XIII, I assume?" he eyed the cross hanging from the man's neck. The man also smirked.

"Correct. Well isn't this a fine situation..." the man stated, reaching into his coat. "Twas hopin' to fight ol' Alucard, but a Hellsing dog will serve me just as well!" He removed his hands from his coat, revealing several bayonets clutched between each finger.

"Ooooh, pointy. Well I'm sorry to dissappoint you, but I won't fight a priest," H shook his hands in a 'no' gesture. "And what exactly did I do to you to deserve this?"

"Those who assosciate wit' tha likes o' the vampyres are as guilty as they are, und thus they must recieve tha same punishment: Death," the man explained with a twisted smile.

"I see. But I'm not going to fight you, so goodbye!" H waved, and then took off sprinting down the road, running for dear life.

"Yer not gettin' away that easily, heathen!" the man screamed as he started to pursue him.

"Watch who you call a heathen! I'm a Christian, thank you very much!" H screamed over his shoulder.

"Well I still have ta kill ya!" the knife-wielding maniac roared back.

"By the way, what did you say your name was?" H asked over his shoulder as he hopped over a trash can.

"Anderson! Yours?" he replied, bounding over the trashcan behind H with ease.

"The name's H!" H yelled.

"Wha' kind o' name is H?" Anderson was practicly on top of him. He suddenly ducked, causing Anderson to trip over him and smash his face into a stop sign.

"Never said it was my real one..." H muttered, quickly running off before the madman could get back up. "I think I lost him..." H stopped running a few blocks away. He leaned against the wall of a building and let out a sigh of relief. Out of nowhere, a bayoney slammed into his chest, punched through his bullet-proof vest, and pinned him to the wall. "Hurk!" he gasped, clutching the handle of the blade and trying to wrench it loose.

"I'm afraid y'er wrong, Mistar H..." Anderson walked out of the shadows of a nearby alley. "Dead wrong..."

"This hurts, ya know..." H pointed at the knife after finding himself unable to get it out.

"Eh? Y'er still alive?" Anderson raised an eyebrow.

"I'm hard to kill," H shrugged, his feet dangling a few inches off the ground.

"I must o' missed yer heart. No matter..." Anderson retrieved several bayonets from his coat. "Thar's more where tha' come from!"

---

"Where is he?" Seras asked no-one in particular. "He should have been here by now..." She paced back and forth on top of the roof of a building. She had set off the signal flare a few minutes ago, and the helicopter would be arriving shortly. "He'd better hurry up... I bet he got lost." A small item suddenly dropped down beside her. She looked down at the object, and picked it up off the ground. She froze in shock when she held it up to a small light by the door to exit the roof. It was a set of blood-stained dog tags with the letter 'H' on them. "Oh no..." Seras gasped.

"Oh yes," replied a sinister voice directly behind her.

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Dun... dun... DUN! Plot twists beyond your wildest dreams! And there's many more to come!


	17. Chapter 17

Wow. I asked for reviews, and I got them. Special thanks to:

Crocdragon89, Dragonlady626, EliteVegito, Youko's Befuddled Fox, Morality, HellsingCat, BlackVenus, Zaneta, Melgar, Capt. n, and Keith B. Real.

I'm thankful to all of you, and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far!

I suppose this story has nearly run its course. I'll probably give it a few more chapters, 25 max. Don't want to run it out for too long. But don't worry, I'll have plenty of other stories to take its place! Hm... well, lets see what twists and turns the story takes next!

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Integra shook her head, trying to keep herself from falling asleep as she sat in her chair in the command tent. She was dead tired, and the mission had dragged on much longer than expected. As she took off her glasses and rubbed her sore eyes, Walter walked into the command tent and bowed. "Yes, Walter? What is it?"

"We've got the radio's working again. There seems to have been some interferance from something. Perhaps a natural occurance, perhaps something else," Walter held up a walkie-talkie and set it on the table in front of her. "I'd suggest we contact our agents at once. I have a bad feeling about all of this."

"I do to, Walter," she picked up the radio and switched it to H's frequency. "Hello? Hello? H, do you read me? This is Sir Hellsing. Do you read me?"

"_Crrrrrxxxxxxxckkkkk_!" The only reply from him she got was static.

"Hello? H, do you read me!" most likely it was just a technical problem, but she was starting to worry. Again, all she got was static.

"Try Miss Victoria," Walter suggested.

"Seras? Seras, are you there?" Integra changed frequencies.

"_Crrrrrrrrrrrsssssssk..._ SIR HELLSING, IS THAT YOU?" Seras voice suddenly screamed back at her.

"Yes, calm down Seras! What is going on?" Integra was caught off guard by her panicked response.

"H IS DEAD!" Seras screamed. Integra's tightened her grip on the walkie-talkie, and her eyes grew wide in shock.

"How? What happened?" Integra barked into the tranciever.

"FATHER ANDERSON!" Seras's voice was filled with terror, and Integra paled upon hearing that name. "HE KILLED H, AND NOW- AAAAH!" the radio suddenly went dead.

"Seras? SERAS!" Integra yelled into the radio.

"_Krrriiixxxxxxxkkkk... _Ay, I'm afraid yer gonna have ta call her back a' a bettar time. She's a bit tied up a' tha moment," the chilling voice of Alexander Anderson spoke over the radio.

"Father Alexander Anderson," Integra spoke in a civil manner, "You are in violation of the Protostant/Catholic border agreement, and you-"

"Hold on a second!" he replied. "I haven't done nothin' wrong. YOU are tha ones who are doin' tha tresspassing."

"What? What are you-" Integra suddenly realized why Maxwell had wanted to make a deal with her earlier that day. He had shown her a map of the border, and pointed out several sections that Hellsing would gain. He failed to point out some small areas that Section XIII would take over, so Integra had thought she was getting the better part of the deal. Apparently, the mission had been staged in newly acquired Catholic territory. "Maxwell... he lied to me!"

"No, no. He didn't do nothin' of the sort. You simply failed ta notice tha truth!" Anderson jovially replied.

"What have you done with H and Seras?" Integra realized that she had to save her subordinants. Or at least, the one who still lived.

"Ya mean tha guy with the guns? Oh, he's hangin' from a wall somewhere. Mighty hard ta kill fer a normal human," he explained. "It took 8 bayonets ta finish 'im off. As fer the Draculina... well, she's currently hidin' somewhere. Ran off and left 'er radio behind. She can't have gotten too far, though. I lent her a few o' my knives, so to speak. Hahahah."

"Cease this aggression immediatly, Anderson! We do not need any further stress on diplomattic relations between Hellsing and Section XIII!" Integra tried to persuade him from killing Seras, but he wasn't buying it.

"Hahah!" he laughed, "Diplomacy has nothin' ta do with it. But tell ya what... if you can get 'er out o' here before I find her, I won't raise me hand ta stop ya. But if I find her... well, I'd say ye should best come get 'er before she ends up like that H fella."

"So... you will let her live if we come get her?" Integra was making sure this wasn't a trap.

"If I haven't found 'er before ye," Anderson emphasized.

"Alright. Why the change of heart?" she asked.

"I've had my fun fer the night... H put up quite the chase, and I'm feeling kind o' generous right now," he replied, and then switched off the radio. Integra listened to the static for several seconds, thinking over the proper course of action.

"Sir Hellsing?" Walter asked after several seconds of silence.

"I want Captain Bernadette to lead the rescue team, and I want Alucard to go deal with that madman, once and for all," Integra hissed between clentched teeth.

"Yes, ma'am," Walter bowed.

---

"Come out, come out, where ever ye are..." Anderson crooned as he stalked the streets of the quiet town, hunting for Seras. Unbeknownst to him, she was hiding in an alley near the town's courthouse. She was badly wounded, having been stabbed quite a few times, and she was feeling very weak. She had also left her rifle at the extraction point, forcing her to fight unarmed.

"I've got to find some way to escape..." she whispered to herself as she snuck from shadow to shadow, listening to the distant voice of the crazed Paladin as he hunted for her. She was terrified of that man, and he obviously knew it. He was taunting her, trying to lure her out, trying to make his job easier.

"Ye should know tha' yer friends are lookin' for ya," Anderson called out, his voice echoing off the building's of the empty town. "If they find ye before I do, ya get ta leave here alive." Seras didn't know if he was telling the truth or not. "Ye should also know tha' H was more fun ta hunt than ye are... a'course, he didn't hide in an alley like a coward!"

"Uh oh," Seras ducked just in time to avoid several bayonets streaking straight at her head. They flew over her and struck the wall behind her. Immediatly, she started to run for her life.

"FOUND YE!" Anderson roared, his footsteps echoing off the walls behind her. Seras scrambled up a fire escape and made her way to the top of an apartment building. She ran to the edge of the roof and leaned over it, looking for a means of escape. She turned around and prepared to run to the other side of the roof and jump to the next building. But she found her path blocked by the body of a very tall person. "Wha' was tha point o' that?" Anderson looked down at her.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time..." she whispered, clearly frightened.

"Well, it seems as though I found ye first. So..." Anderson swiped his leg along the ground, knocking Seras' feet out from under her. She hit the ground on her back, and found herself pinned by Anderson's foot upon her neck. She grabbed his leg, but even with her immense strength, she couldn't pry his foot off of her. "Stop strugglin'. It'll be easier if ye just accept yer fate."

"Urk... no... stop..." she coughed as the pressure exerted by his boot increased.

"And now, Draculina, our game o' cat-an'-mouse comes to a' end," he smirked maniacly. He withdrew a sword from his coat and held it over his head. Gripping the handle with both hands, he prepared to stab Seras in the heart. "Any last words, Draculina?"

"Ugh... don't... gya..." all she could do was cough out a few words.

"Didn't think so..." With that, Anderson stabbed downward with the sword. But just as he did so, a gunshot rang out. The sword shattered into several pieces, and Anderson halted just as the remaining part of the blade neared her chest. "What's all this, then?" he spun around to face the source of the gunshot.

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Cliff hanger ending. I know it's evil, but I'm nearly out of time to write this thing. But feel free to review! Please?


	18. Chapter 18

Hurray, lots of reviews! Thanks alot, everybody. Well, it is now time to see how the situation with Father Anderson turns out. If you where expecting H to come to the rescue...

YOUR WRONG!!!

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"What's all this, then?" Anderson whirled around, the broken blade still clutched in his hands.

"Take your foot off the girl, and back away slowly," demanded the calm and cool voice of none other than Captain Pip Bernadette. Standing on the other side of the roof by the fire escape, he had a sniper rifle trained on Anderson's head The scope was held up to his good eye, and his finger was resting on the trigger. Two mercenaries stood on either side of him, their weapons aimed at the priest. "I said-"

"I heard what ye said," Anderson barked. "But I can't do tha'. I found 'er first, so I get ta kill 'er!"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that," Pip's finger tightened its grip on the trigger.

"Oh yeah?" Anderson cast aside the destroyed sword, and withdrew a handfull of bayonets from his coat. He lessened the weight on Seras' throat, allowing her to talk.

"Captain Bernadette, no! He's a regenerator! You can't kill him!" she gasped, trying to warn him before it was too late.

"Say what?" Pip took a step back.

"She's right. And I could kill ye before ye even pulled the trigger," Anderson smirked wickedly.

"Oh... well, in that case..." Pip nervously glanced back and forth. "Open fire!" All five soldiers began shooting at once. Anderson barely flinched as the bullets tore into him, the wounds healing the moment they appeared. Within seconds, the men had exhausted their ammo, and all the remained of Anderson's injuries were holes in his coat.

"Got anything else?" Anderson asked sarcasticly.

"I do," came a voice from over Anderson's shoulder. He felt the cold steel of a long-barreled handgun press against the back of his head. Anderson slowly turned around, and found himself staring down the barrel of the Jackel, and into the eyes of the No Life King.

"Just the person I wanted ta see!" Anderson exclaimed. He took his foot off of Seras and kicked her aside. "I was hopin' to fight ye earlier, but ye wasn't here. So I killed one of yer comrades instead!"

"You killed H?" Alucard raised an eyebrow. "What a pity. He only worked here for two days."

"Two days, eh? You folks have bad luck with new recruits," Anderson shrugged. Pip took another step back.

"Well, Anderson, I suppose the time has come for us to end this fued, once and for all," Alucard took a few steps back and withdrew the Cassel.

"En garde!" Anderson already had a set of swords in his hands before anybody could blink. He stabbed at Alucard. Alucard opened fire on him. And thus the fight began. As the two warriors fought to the death, Seras staggered over towards the Captain and his men.

"Are you alright?" Pip asked her as she practicly collapsed into his arms.

"Never better..." she groaned.

"Alucard can handle this. Lets get you out of here," Pip suggested. His soldiers helped him carry her down the fire escape, and soon they where scrambling into one of Hellsing's armored car. Meanwhile, Anderson and Alucard fought from rooftop to rooftop, neither one gaining or losing the advantage.

---

"Ye can't beat me, demon!" Anderson roared as he dodged a volley of bullet

"And you can't beat me, either," Alucard replied as he ducked beneath a wave of knives.

"I guess this'll just go on 'til one o' us runs out o' ammo," Anderson kicked Alucard off the building they where atop of and onto the next one. Alucard rolled across the roof, stood up, and continued to fire on the priest until he had to reload.

"That will be a long time from now," Alucard smirked as he slammed a new clip into the Jackel. Anderson took this chance to dive onto the roof as well. He moved back and forth to avoid the ensuing hail of gunfire, closing the distance between him and the monster with ease.

"Why won't ye just DIE?" Anderson yelled as he rammed two swords through Alucard's chest. The vampire laughed and kicked him backwards.

"Because you can't kill me!" Alucard taunted him. As they continued to fight, the firepower of Alucard's guns and the number of shots fired resulted in several things catching on fire. Within minutes, half the buildings they where fighting back and forth on where alight.

"I have a present for ye," Anderson smiled as he regenerated several gunshot wounds to his chest.

"What would that be?" Alucard asked, pulled out quite a few bayonets from his own chest.

"A FUNERAL PYRE!" Anderson cackled like a madman as he raced forward and kicked Alucard off that building and through the burning windows of another. "HAHAHAHAHAH!"

---

Several hours later, Integra was sitting in her office. She had a cigar in her mouth, a stack of papers in her hand, and three operatives standing in front of her. Alucard looked annoyed, and his hat was rather charred and blackened. Seras appeared somewhat sad, and her uniform was sporting several bloodstains. Pip, despite being physically fine, looked like he'd taken a mental beating. Walter was downstairs preparing some tea for them. "Well... this mission could have gone better," Integra sighed.

"Lousy priest. He ran off before I could get back to him..." Alucard hissed.

"Well, the whole town burnt down. I wouldn't blame him for leaving," Pip shrugged.

"We never recovered H's body. All we have are his dog tags," Seras fished the pieces of metal out of her pocket.

"Yes, the loss of H was very unfortunate. He was a valuable asset to our unit, and he will be missed," Integra bowed her head solemly.

"He was quite an interesting, for a human," Alucard admitted. "And he knew how to shoot a gun." Seras nodded in agreement.

"I never got to know him, but he seemed like a nice guy," Pip shrugged.

"I suppose that everything has been taken care of. If there is nothing else to discuss, you may all return to your quarters. I want you all to get some rest in case of another mission tommorrow. Good night," she bid them farewell, and the three operatives walked out of the room. Just as she was preparing to head off to bed herself, the phone on her desk rang. "Yes, hello?" she answered quickly.

"Sir Hellsing," the office clerk addressed her, "There is somebody here to see you."

"It's 2:34 AM! Who is it?" Integra glanced at the clock on her wall and frowned.

"Somebody named Fenrir Wolfsbane. He says it is very important," the clerk replied.

Integra sighed, "Great. More people with funny names. Send him in..."

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Oh, and I should point something out to you all. If you think the chapters are too short, you should know that I shoot for 1200 words per chappie, and here is why:

1) A chapter of that size is long enough to keep you entertained, yet short enough not to bore you.

2) I doesn't take me that long to write.

3) I guess I just like the number 1200. :)

Thanks for reading, and please review!


	19. Chapter 19

Sweet gracious, that is a lot of reviews! Thanks alot, readers. This story is almost done. Chapter 20 will be the end, I suppose. But fear not. I shall be doing a short story fic, and perhaps even a sequal. But now it is time to reveal even more plot twists!

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Looking at his watch, he walked down the hallway and stopped at the door to Integra's office. He knocked on the door, and was rewarded with Integra's stern voice. "Enter," was the one word she said. He paused, thinking over how to approach this situation. How would she react? Would she scream? Panick and call for Alucard? Shoot him? No, she was Integra Hellsing. She would most likely react quite well. He gathered his wits about him and let out a sigh. Finally, he twisted the door knob and casually walked into the room. Integra was resting her head in her hands, her elbows propped up on her desk. She raised an eyebrow and a slight smile appeared on her face. "Well, if it isn't the dead hero. What brings you back here, H?"

"You don't seem that suprised," H replied with a hoarse voice.

"I had a feeling somebody like you couldn't be human," she smirked at her supposedly dead operative. "So what are you then, H?"

"Not H. Fenrir Wolfsbane," he waved his hand in a gesture of disdain.

"But why the change of names?" she asked.

"H was just an alias. It was an old codename of mine, and I use it often now," he shrugged.

"Well..." Integra leaned back into her chair and surveyed the blood-soaked soldier, "I'm still curious as to what you are."

"Heh..." he chuckled lightly. "There's no hiding it now. The truth is... I'm a Lycanthrope," he smiled, revealing a set of fangs.

"A werewolf?" interest sparked in Integra's eyes. "Intreaging. So, what happened between you and Anderson?"

"Well... he surpised me, we shared a small conversation, he chased me, and then he decided to get stabby," H pointed down at a bayonet that was actually still lodged in the right side of his chest.

"I see..." Integra glanced at the blade. "And he left you dead?"

"Being hung on a wall with three bayonets in your chest, one in each arm and leg, and one in your throat usually results in death. So yes, he left me for dead," H shrugged.

"The throat? That explains the hoarse voice. Why didn't you go find Seras?" Integra asked.

"There's no moon tonight. Not a decently large enough one, at least. It took me nearly half an hour to regain my strength and heal my wounds. Even so... not all of them healed," he gestured at the bayonet again. "By the way, is Seras alright? I heard Anderson calling for her..."

"Yes, she's alright. Alucard and Captain Bernadette rescued her," Integra answered him with a soft smile.

"Good. Well, I am glad you reacted this well, Sir Hellsing. I suppose I should go have this thing removed now. Good night," he waved her farewell and headed for the door.

"Good night, H," she waved back.

"Not H. Fenrir," he corrected her as he headed out the door.

"Alright, Fenrir," she replied. He closed the door behind himself, and Integra chuckled softly. "Wow. I'm so glad this is just a dream caused by me falling asleep waiting for that Fenrir guy..." she leaned back into her chair and started to laugh.

---

"Hm..." Pip stepped over the remains of a shattered door and looked around the room in front of him. "Since H is dead, I guess we get the rights to his stuff..." With that, he headed over to the closet and began to rummage through it. "Hm... nothing. Now for the dresser..." He headed over to the dresser and went through it. "Still nothing..." he checked under the bed. "Dang. I was hoping to find something worth keeping..." Pip snapped his fingers in annoyance. "Oh well, time to go!" he spun around and hoped to beat a hasty retreat. Unfortunately, a supposedly dead soldier drenched in blood with a knife jutting out of his chest was standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing in here, Captain Burnt-Toast?" H asked casually, leaning against the doorframe.

"Uh..." Pip stared at the dead man. "I... uh... well... why are you here?" he stammered.

"I asked you first," H smiled.

"I'm not the dead man here, though!" Pip's nerves couldn't handle much more.

"I'm not dead," H shrugged.

"Yes you are! You're dead, H!" Pip pointed an accusing finger at him.

"First of all, my name is actually Fenrir. Second... I'm not dead. I'm a werewolf," he shrugged again.

"Okay. I've had enough. First, I'm forced to work with vampires. Then, I'm forced to fight a stab-happy priest who can heal from headshots. And now, you expect me to believe that you are-" Pip's rant was cut off by H rushing across the room, grabbing him by the throat, and bringing them both face-to-face. H's eyes where now a vivid color of bright yellow, and a wicked smile revealed a mouth full of fangs. "A WEREWOLF!" Pip shrieked.

"That's right, Cap'n Burnt-Toast!" H laughed, letting go off the mercenary. Pip hit the ground running, and was out the door in the blink of an eye.

"WEREWOLF! WEREWOLF! HE'S A BLOODY WEREWOLF!" Pip screamed as he raced through the manner. Clearly, he had finally snapped.

"What's eating him?" H joked to himself as he scratched the back of his head. He looked down at the bayonet still lodged in his chest. "I still need to get this thing out..." He grabbed the handle and pulled. No dice. He pulled again, this time with both hands. Still no luck. H let out a sigh of annoyance and stopped to think. "I suppose I'll need some help. How embarrassing..." he winced.

---

"Sir Hellsing?" Walter knocked on the door to Integra's office. Light was coming out from under the door, and he could hear noises coming from inside. "It is 4:30 in the morning. Are you still awake?" Recieving no answer, Walter opened the door and walked in. Integra had her head on her desk, her arms strewn across the top. She was sound asleep, and was finally at peace. "Oh, she's asleep..." Walter whispered. He turned to leave out the still open door, but his shoes squeeked on the floor.

"Huh? Who's there?" Integra suddenly raised her head and looked around.

"Sorry, Sir. It is only me," Walter replied.

"Oh, hello. I had the strangest dream, Walter," Integra yawned. "More of a nightmare, really. I dreamed that H came back from the dead, and that his name was really Fenrir, and he was a werewolf..." she detailed her nightmare.

"Really? Well, that was quite a dream," Walter assured her. "But sadly, H is still dead, and I'm quite sure there are no werewolves currently in existance." The moment he finished talking, H poked his head through the doorway.

"Sir Hellsing, I was hoping- Oh Walter, you're just the person I needed to see!" H's smiled. Walter stared at him. "You see, I have this problem..." H walked into the room and pointed at the bayonet. "You wouldn't mind helping me would you?"

"Uh..." Walter stared in shock and horror. _FWUMP!_ The butler turned around and saw Integra laid out across the floor, out cold.

"Oh dear, she must have been really tired..." H shook his head.

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Some of you obviously knew this was coming. Some of you didn't. Just so we're all clear, H is a werewolf, and his name is really Fenrir. Last chapter coming soon! Review while you still can!


	20. Chapter 20

Lo and behold, the end has arrived. Time to wrap this story up. Thanks to everybody who read it, reviewed it, and enjoyed it. I'm glad to have given you good entertainment. Thank you, again. Now lets get this over with.

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"It's stuck," Walter pointed out to Fenrir after wrestling with the bayonet several times. Integra was still out cold, and everybody else was most likely still asleep. Pip had most likely run into a wall or something, because he was no longer ranting about monsters.

"You're joking, right?" Fenrir sighed. "This has not been my day."

"I'm sorry. Perhaps you should ask Master Alucard?" Walter suggested.

"I don't feel like losing my pride to that thing," Fenrir scowled.

"I sense some conflict between you two," Walter mused.

"He almost got me fired," Fenrir gestured at Integra.

"Oh right... I'm still not sleeping peacefully, because of you," Walter gave a slight glare.

"Heh... sorry," Fenrir chuckled.

"Well, I'm afraid that Alucard is the only one strong enough to remove it. So I'm afraid he is your only choice," Walter pointed down. "You'll find him in the basement. Be careful... he hates to be disturbed while sleeping."

"Great," Fenrir smirked. "Lets hope he doesn't try to kill me."

"Why would he do that?" Walter raised an eyebrow.

"Werewolves and vampirs don't get along. The only reason he didn't attack me as of yet is that vampires cannot sense werewolves. But he knew I wasn't completely human..." Fenrir shrugged. "Is she gonna be okay?" he pointed at Integra.

"I'm sure. Leave her to me," Walter gestured for him to leave.

"See ya, Walter," Fenrir said goodbye and walked out. Once he was gone, Walter let out a sigh.

"I'm getting to old for these things," he muttered. He walked over to Integra and knelt down beside her and snapped his fingers. "Wake up, Sir."

"Whossat?" Integra looked up to face him. "Oh, Walter, it's you. I just had the strangest dream..." she started to explain.

"Indeed?" Walter helped her to her feet. "What about?"

"You'll never believe it..." she shook her head.

"Try me," he smiled.

---

Alucard was peacefully asleep in his coffin, arms crossed and his body at rest. He was dreaming about a rematch with Anderson, and he was winning. But sadly, that dream would have to wait, because a knocking at his door awoke him from his slumber. "You've got to be joking..." he hissed. "Who would dare to wake me after a mission?" Alucard threw open his coffin and rolled out, landing on his feet. He strode across the room and threw the door open. "Yes?" Instantly he froze. Standing in front of him was a person whom he had belived to be dead.

"Hey buddy," Fenrir waved.

"Did I miss something?" Alucard glanced down at the bayonet. The whole situation seemed to have caught the vampire off guard. He was talking to a dead man drenched in blood, with yellow eyes, fangs, and a bayonet stuck in him.

"Yeah. I'm... uh... a werewolf," Fenrir smiled and shrugged. Instantly, the door slammed in his face. "FINE, JERK!" he yelled at the nosforatu on the other side. The door opened again, and Alucard was now not wearing his coat.

"I didn't want to stain my coat," Alucard replied with an obvious sense of dislike.

"Oh... right... heh..." Fenrir smirked. "Sorry about the jerk comment. I-"

"Shut up," Alucard interupted him.

"Okay," Fenrir obeyed.

"Now lets see if I can get this out..." Alucard gripped the handle and pulled. The weapon didn't budge. "Hm..." He pulled again. When that didn't work, he pulled again with both hands. The next few moments where full of chaos and a lot of screaming. Finally, things calmed down enough for them to assess the situation.

"Wow... thanks," Fenrir covered his injury with his hand as it rapidly healed.

"Don't mention it," Alucard replied sarcastily, looking down at the bayonet that had gone through his chest and pinned him to a wall.

"Oh... I can honestly say that it sucks to be you right now..." Finrir chuckled.

"Shut up," Alucard hissed. He yanked out the blade and hurled it at Fenrir, who didn't duck in time.

"Great. Back to square one..." he groaned, gesturing at the bayonet embedded once again in his chest.

---

Seras awoke during the day from her slumber. She headed upstairs to see if she was needed for anything, and she eventually found herself in the mansion's lounge hall. She nearly passed out when she walked into the room. Pip was sitting on the couch watching an old black and white movie about vampires, and he looked more traumatized than entertained. On the other side of the room, Alucard was playing chess with Fenrir, who was now without the bayonet and covered in bandages. "Did I miss something?" Seras scratched the side of her head.

"You missed the first half of the "Bloodsucker Marathon," Fenrir pointed at the tv.

"I meant something more along the lines of how are you alive?" she replied.

"Oh, right. I'm a werewolf, and my name is Fenrir," he smiled. Seras just stared in confoundment.

"Checkmate," Alucard suddenly spoke up.

"Hey, what now?" Fenrir turned back to his opponent. "That's not cool."

"What happened to you?" Seras asked, clearly lost and confused.

"Um... Father Anderson decided to get stabby. I spent a long time hanging on a wall, and finally I got free and healed my injuries," Fenrir answered her.

"Most of them," Alucard added.

"Yes, there was a situation with a bayonet that is actually quite funny in retrospect," Fenrir smiled.

"Why didn't you come help me?" Seras questioned her comrade.

"I said I was hanging on a wall. What could I do to help? Oh, and then SOMEBODY decided to burn down the whole town," Fenrir turned to face Alucard, who smirked.

"What did Sir Hellsing say about all this?" Seras asked, still slightely confused.

"Oh she freaked out and fainted. She had a bad day yesterday, otherwise she would have reacted better," Fenrir explained. Seras blinked several times, dumbfounded. Finally she walked over to the couch. She sat down next to Pip, who clearly grew very nervous, and began to watch the movie.

"I must be going insane..." Seras sighed.

"Oh don't worry, it's not that that bad of an experience," Pip laughed sarcasticly.

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The End.


	21. Chapter 21

Oh... well would you look at that? And new chapter!

It seems that EVERYBODY thought the ending sucked. So, I'm going to continue with it...

You see, I don't like to dissappoint the readers. If you're sad, I'm sad. That's how it works out, I suppose. Well, now that I have come up with a few nice ideas, lets see if I can write out at least 10 more chapters. Eh? 30 chapters should be a good number for this story. Don't want it to drag on forever... unless the readers want me to. Remember, everything I do can be influenced by opinion, as you have no doubt learned from seeing this new chapter.

On with the show!

* * *

Somewhere, shrouded in darkness, three men where standing in a small room. One man was sitting in a chair, his face concealed by shadows. Behind him stood an ominous and silent guard, his intimidating ambience only magnified by the Mauser automatic pistol strapped to his belt. Before them stood a man wearing a blood-stained lab coat, his eyes hidden behind a set of multi-layered examination glasses. The three men all had their attention turned towards the same thing: A television set, showing a news report about a British town burning down in an industrial accident, leaving no survivors. The reporters said it was caused by an gas station catching fire and exploding, burning the whole town to the ground and killing everyone in it. But the men knew what had really caused it. 

They knew because they organized it.

"Vell now, it seems zat the Hellsing Organization is getting back on its feet already," the man in the chair inferred as he watched the screen.

"Ja, much faster then expected," the man in the lab coat replied. The guard stayed silent, not bothering to include himself in the discussion.

"Perhaps ve should perform another test, zen?" the seated man propossed.

"Nein, nein. I have un better idea..." the coat clad man replied.

"Und vat would zat be, Dok?" the seated man leaned forward, the dim light reflecting off the rim of his glasses.

"I believe ve should simply invite zem here, to our country," the man named Dok smiled.

"Vat?" the man asked. The guard raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. "Vat are you talking about?"

"Vell... let me explain..." the doctor smiled mischeviously. "Ve can finish toying with zem and show ourselves for vat we really are!"

"You have me interested..." the seated man leaned back into his chair. "Please continue..."

"With pleasure, mein Fuhrer," Doc chuckled.

--------------------------

"Alright. Explain it to me one more time. And don't leave anything out," Integra ordered sternly. She was sitting in her chair, looking across her desk at an obviously bored Fenrir.

"Again?" he asked. "But I've already told you three times..." A stern glare from Integra ceased his complaints. "Alright... Anderson chased me. I outran him. He ambushed me and stabbed me through the chest and pinned me to a wall. I survived, so he tried to kill me with two more bayonets in the chest. No luck. So he stabbed me once in each arm, each leg, and in the throat. I decided that this was getting out of hand, so I feigned death. He figured nothing could surivive that, so he left to go get Seras. And he took my dog tags..." Fenrir explained, gesturing to each part of his body as they where mentioned. "I spent quite awhile regaining my strength. I then removed the bayonets... or most of them... and tried to regenerate my wounds. Without a full moon, it took me almost an hour. I was too weak to help Seras, but I figured she would be alright. It seems I was wrong about that, but at least she is okay now." Integra nodded in agreement. "So then the whole town catches on fire, and I high tailed it out of there."

"High tailed?" Integra raised an eyebrow.

"American term for 'ran as fast as possible'..." Fenrir defined.

"Oh. Continue..." Integra waved her hand.

"So then I made my way back here... you know the rest of the story, I'm sure," Fenrir smirked.

"Indeed. Are you sure you left nothing out?" she asked.

"Possitive. Anything else, Sir?" Fenrir replied.

"That will be all for now. Go downstairs and meet with Walter. He says that your things have arrived from America," she informed him.

"Excellent! I've been wondering where my things had gone off to... I figured they had ended up in Fiji or Russia," he chuckled as he walked out the door.

"Hmmm," Integra sighed. "I am clearly in charge of the most rag-tag, unorganized, and psychotic group of operatives on earth."

"We love you too, Master," Alucard whispered into her ear, stepping out from nowhere. Integra frowned.

"I hate it when you try to sneak up on my like that," she growled.

"You knew I was there, of course," he replied. "You can sense my presence with ease."

"It is still annoying," she looked over her shoulder and glared at the vampire.

"I know," Alucard grinned. "That is why I do it!" Without another word, he dissappeared.

"Why did my father have to leave me _him_ as a protector?" Integra sighed, going back to her endless paperwork.

* * *

There. Happy? The story lives on, and now I have to write out a whole new plot. Thanks alot. Just kidding... : ) 

But I don't care as long as you all enjoy reading the story. If you're happy, I'm hapy. Its as simple as that.

Review please!

Oh, and if you don't already know, the three creepy German guys are from the Hellsing manga. If you haven't read that and you don't want spoilers, STOP READING THIS STORY NOW. We're going far into spoiler territory with this thing.


	22. Chapter 22

Oh lookie lookie, I have a request. Akolyte wants to know how Fenrir became a werewolf. You know, I was meaning to point that out, but I forgot to add in my mad dash to end the story. Yes, it was actually rushed. I wanted to get it done so I could start on my short story fic and my Halloween special. Those have turned out quite nicely, I might add.

Anyway, not wanting to ignore a direct request, I shall describe how Fenrir became a werewolf. Later. I have a plan on how to reveal it, so don't expect to know the truth for several chapters. Sorry!

Akolyte also asked about the extent of Fenrir's power. I can answer that question, along with a few others...

**Effect of the moon:**

Fenrir is a werewolf. As such, his powers increase and decrease depending on the state of the moon. No moon equals little power. Thus, normal injuries on the night of the new moon might be able to kill him, while even the worst of injuries cannot hurt him when the moon is full.

**Extent of powers:**

This depends on the moon. On the night of the new moon, he is much like a mortal human, albiet stronger and with better senses. As the moon grows, so does his power. On the night of the full moon, he can survive even the worst wounds, his strength is nearly unlimited, as well as a few powers yet to be revieled.

**Shapeshifting:**

Again, influenced by the moon. He cannot do anything around the time of a new moon. While the moon is increasing in size, he can change slightly. Fangs, yellow eyes, increased speed and strength are his abilities at this time. On the day before, the night of, and the day after a full moon, he can change into a true werewolf at will. As the moon decreases, he goes back to his normal transformation, and then back to the new moon stage. Thus, the cycle continues.

I hope that cleared up a lot of things. Where did I get the ideas for all of this? Hm... meh, I like werewolves.

SPOILERS FOR HELLSING MANGA

spoilers

spoilers

spoilers

And before you start saying "There's no way a werewolf would fit into Hellsing!", you should know this. The Captain is a werewolf. And from what I have heard, he is just as tough as Alucard. So HA!

spoilers

spoilers

spoilers

END SPOILERS

Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, lets get back to the story!

* * *

Walter let out a sigh of relief as he finally pried open the heavy wooden crate. He dropped the crowbar in his hands and peered into the box. He couldn't see past the packaging material, though. "Hm..." 

"Hurray! My things are here!" Fenrir's voice made Walter jump. "Sorry pal, didn't mean to scare you."

"Its alright. I'm just not use to hearing dead people talk. Other than Alucard and Miss Victoria, at least," Walter chuckled.

"Well, lets see if they sent me everything..." Fenrir reached into the crate and fished out a shotgun. "My baby!"

"Your baby?" Walter raised an eyebrow.

"Yep!" he hugged the weapon. "Over-under action, custom pistol grip stock, enlarged magazine for larger ammunition capacity, and a leather shoulder strap for easy carrying."

"Wow," Walter clapped his hands together. "That is quite a weapon."

"Would anybody care to explain that in English?" Seras suddenly spoke up from the corner of the room.

"Oh, hey Seras," Fenrir waved. "I didn't see you come in... Essentially, this is the ultimate in anti-ghoul weaponry."

"Oh really?" she grinned.

"Other than your Halconnon..." he added.

"What else did you recieve?" Walter quickly returned the conversation to its original subject.

"Uh... a lot of my notes on ghouls," Fenrir handed him some books out of the crate. "My television," Fenrir gently removed a small tv and placed it on the floor.

"You had them send you your telly?" Seras raised an eyebrow.

"What's mine is mine..." he shrugged. He then pulled a tomohawk out of the box.

"What is that?" Seras pointed at the weapon.

"A tomohawk. Native American war axe. Very handy in close-quarters combat," he swung it a few times.

"Are you Native American?" Walter asked.

"Nope. I got in return for helping some of them, though," he threw the tomohawk in the air, and then caught it when it came back down.

"Interesting..." Walter mused.

------

"Sir Hellsing?" a young clerk poked his head into her office.

"Yes?" she looked up from her paperwork. "What is it?"

"We have a business proposition," he informed her.

"Business what?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Somebody wants us to come clean out some vampires for them," the clerk replied.

"Oh, well that-" Integra was interupted by the clerk coughing.

"In another country, sir," he added.

"What?" Integra was caught off guard by that bit of information.

------

"Wait... so we are getting paid to do what?" Pip scratched the back of his head, trying to compute what he had just heard.

"You are to go to the country of Brazil, and we are to help clean out some its major cities. They have a reoccuring vampire problem, and they where able to locate us. They are offering us quite a lot of money in return, since this is so out of-the-ordinary," Walter explained to Pip, Seras, Alucard, and Fenrir as they listened attentavely.

"Brazil? Bueno! I know a bit of Spanish, so that may come in handy..." Fenrir exclaimed.

"They are providing translators," Walter informed him. Fenrir shrugged.

"But at least I can tell you when insult us behind our backs," he grinned.

"I speak English, French, and zat iz about it," Pip chuckled.

"I speak English, Romanian, German, French, et cetra..." Alucard bragged. "Every language in Europe, essentially."

"Show off," Seras sighed.

"What's wrong? Are you sad because you only speak English?" Alucard taunted her.

"Back to the point... we are to leave in three days, travel by ship, and start in the capitol city. We are going to recieve aid from the government and the police force of each city, as well," Walter told them.

"Great. Anything else?" Pip asked.

"Yes. Under no circumstances are you to reveal your identities, powers, or anything else of the sort," Walter warned them. "There are things even our employers should be kept in the dark about. You all fall under that category."

"Fake identities, eh?" Fenrir mused. "Back to using the name H, it seems..."

* * *

Ta da. Yet another new chapter. And any more suggestions or questions would be greatly appreciated. Review, please! 


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry for the delay. Had several ideas, and it took my awhile to narrow down the best ones. Hm... lets see how this works out.

* * *

"I hate boats..." Pip groaned to himself as he lit the cigarette in his mouth and adjusted his cowboy hat. He was standing on some dock next to several large crates. He was waiting for their ship to arrive, and the sun was setting. Two of the crates were coffin shaped. In fact, they where actual coffins. 

"I hate being stuffed in a box," a woman's voice complained from within one of the coffins.

"Deal with it," came a cold reply from the other coffin.

"Where did Fenrir get off to?" Pip looked around for his comrade, who had gone off to see when the boat would arrive to transport them. As if on cue, Fenrir came swaggering over to him and shrugged.

"They said in about an hour..." Fenrir pointed at his watch. He had changed since they had been assigned their mission. His hair had been cut shorter, and he was wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a brown leather jacket with the collar turned up, and his revolver pistol holstered to his hip.

(A/N: I have no imagination when it comes to character design. For a basic idea of what he looks like now, look at the Captain. Same hair, collar turned up, but normal jacket and clothes, and no hat. Yeah... back to the story!)

Meanwhile, Pip was dressed in his usual attire: Hat, clothes, and braid. Sure, it stood out in a crowd. But he didn't care. It was just his style.

"Urrungh..." Seras moaned from inside her coffin.

"What's eating her?" Fenrir nodded at the source of the noise.

"I suppose vampires can be claustrophobic," Pip chuckled.

"When I get out... you are dead!" she threatened him.

"Ooooh, the voice in the box is making threats! Scary!" Pip shook his hands in mocking fear.

"Grrrrr..." Seras growled.

"Police Girl, be quiet. I am trying to sleep. I suggets you do the same..." Alucard warned her.

"Yes, Master..." she sighed. After a few minutes of silence, Fenrir and Pip heard soft snoring coming from her coffin.

"Well... now we wait," Pip sighed and took a long drag on his cigarette.

"Buenos noches," a voice made Pip jump, causing him to spit out his cigarette. Fenrir chuckled at him as they turned to face the speaker.

"Buenos noches, senior. Who are you?" Fenrir crossed his arms and leaned against a crate.

"The name is Tubalcain Alhambra," a man in a white suit removed his hat and bowed. "I have been assigned to escort you in your journey to our country."

"Okay. The name is..." Fenrir paused for a second. Something wasn't right. There was something supsicious about this man. But for now, he had no choice but to go along with what was happening. Amd he needed an alias. So he said the first thing that came to mind. "John. John Smith." Pip slowly turned to face him and mouthed the words 'John Smith?'. Fenrir shrugged, and Pip turned back to face the man.

"And I am..." Pip hesitated. "Jeac Pierre!"

"Ze annoying French man!" Fenrir interupted with a fake French accent. He recieved a kick in the shin from Pip for that.

"Right, well... the ship has just arrived. Follow me, and I will take you aboard. You possessions," Alhambra gestured towards the coffins, "Will be brought aboard soon."

"Alrighty then," Fenrir nodded in agreement.

"Lead ze way..." Pip nodded as well. As the man in the suit led them down the dock and towards the large yacht awaiting them, Fenrir paused momentarily. He heard something in the distance. It sounded like singing. And it was very familiar. In fact, it was an opera he had once heard. He only recognized the tune of it, because for some odd reason it was being sung in German.

"Something wrong, Mr. Smith?" Alhambra asked him.

"Nope. I just thought I heard something..." Fenrir laughed to himself. Alhambra laughed as well, and then continued to lead them to the boat. They walked up the boarding ramp and stepped onto the wooden deck of the yacht.

"Nice ship..." Pip complimented nobody in particular. "But I still hate boats." Pip noticed Fenrir sniffing the air. "What are you doing?"

"Something smells funny. Don't you smell it?" he looked around.

"Like what?" Alhambra asked.

"Like... dead things. It stinks..." Fenrir sniffed again.

"This IS a dock. There are probably dead fish everywhere!" Pip pointed at a fishing boat sailing by.

"I suppose you are right..." he shrugged.

"I will be right back..." Alhambra smiled, and then walked away.

----

"What did you do with the crew?" Alhambra asked as he threw open the door to the ship's control room on the bridge. A woman with long black hair was standing by the window, and she was flanked by two men in grey uniforms. She laughed upon hearing his question.

"Killed them, of course. You helped, remember?" she turned to face him. The bespectacled and freckled woman smiled, revealing a set of fangs.

"I know. But the ghouls... what did you do with them?" Alhambra seemed nervous.

"Well, most of them ve through overboard. But ve haf a few of zem down below deck working in ze engine room. Why waste ze manpower? Don't you agree, Alhambra?" she smirked.

"The one in the jacket. He said something about the smell of death," Alhambra informed her. She chuckled.

"Let me guess... you told him it was fish?" she asked.

"No. His friend did," he replied.

"Und he believed it?" she raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know..." he adjusted his hat nervously. "What do we do if things go wrong, Rip?"

"Ve kill zem. Ve kill zem, and then ve sink the ship. No problems," she explained.

"What should I do now?" he began to turn back towards the door.

"Play poker with zem or something," she suggested. Alhambra smiled and removed a playing card from his hat. He looked at the Ace of Spades, smiled, and then slid it back into place.

"With pleasure," he smirked, revealing his own fangs.

----

About this time, Pip and Fenrir where sitting in the dining room below deck. They where sitting at a table, telling jokes and laughing at their own stupidity. Alhambra suddenly entered the room, strode over to them, and then smiled. "Anybody up for a game of poker?" he pulled a deck of cards from his jacket.

"Sure!" Pip and Fenrir said in unison.

"Excellent!" Alhmabra replied happily. "Excellent!"

* * *

Uh oh. Things are looking bad for our heroes. Alucard and Seras are asleep, and Pip and Fenrir are playing cards with the enemy. Could things get worse?

Well, I suppose an iceberg could spice things up...

Hm...

Nah!


	24. Chapter 24

I need to point something out. While I enjoy Hellsing, and I think the Nazis are an interesting part of the series, I do not like actual Nazis in real life. I dislike them greatly, in fact. I have quite a few good reasons for this, but I will keep them to myself for now.

So, due to this, there will be an absence of certain Nazi phrases. I'm sure you know what they are... the ones that will get you arrested in Germany. Yes, it is true. Germany has strict anti-Nazi laws. But back to the point, I will leave a few things out of this story that could normally be seen/read in Hellsing. Yeah... just in case anybody started to wonder.

I just wanted to let you all know how I felt, and how it would affect the story.

Well, time to get to work. Lets see how things turn out for our heroes! (If you can call those idiots heroes...)

* * *

"I win again!" Alhambra exclaimed, grabbing a handful of pounds off the table. Fenrir groaned and Pip smacked his head against the table several times, each time muttering a French swear word. 

"_Merde, merde, merde_," he continued to smack his skull.

"Mr. Pierre, are you alright?" Alhambra raised an eyebrow.

"I'm fine," he raised his head. "I'm broke, but I'm fine..."

"So..." Fenrir stretched his arms out and yawned, "We're sailing across the ocean in a yacht. That is not something I hear about much, but oh well. How long until we arrive?"

"In Brazil? Hah hah, no, no," Alhambra shook his head. "We're not going to Brazil?"

"Eh?" Pip stared at the man in the suit.

"We're going to a private island, which we will then fly from to Brazil on a private jet," he explained.

"Jet, you say?" Fenrir smirked.

"I hate jets..." Pip grumbled.

-------

"So, Hellsing sent two of its lap dogs, eh?" Rip asked nobody in particular as she pased the bridge. "But vat was in those crates?" She stopped walking and turned her attantion to one of her guards. "Go fetch Warrant Officer Schrodinger," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," the soldier saluted, and then headed out the door. A few minutes later, the soldier returned, this time accompanied by a person in his mid-to-late-teens, clad in a Hitler Youth uniform, and a set of cat ears protruding from his blonde hair.

"_Guten tag_," he greeted her with a smile.

"Hallo to you, too," Rip returned the greeting

"So what's so important that you had to wake me up from my nap for?" he yawned.

"Hellsing's hounds are on board. They brought something with them. Go down into the cargo hold and see what those things are," Rip ordered her subordinate.

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted, and then walked off to complete his mission.

"Zer is something not right about all of zis..." Rip muttered to herself. She withdrew a small cell phone from her pocket and dialed in a number quickly. It rang several times, and then the voice of a woman answered on the other side.

"Hello! Thank you for calling Sam's Stationary," she answered politely.

"Yes, I vould like to schedual an appointment," Rip replied.

"Around what time?" the woman asked.

"4:20," was Rip's answer. After a few seconds of silence, the woman began to talk again. This time, her voice was different.

"Hello, Rip..." the woman replied in a bored tone.

"Hello, Zorin..." Rip returned the greeting.

"How is the mission going?" Zorin enquired.

"Its going well, so far. Alhambra is keeping the two operatives busy, and Schrodinger is checking the crates they brought with them," Rip explained the situation.

"Excellent," Zorin answered. "How long until you reach the island?"

"Two hours," Rip looked at her watch.

"And if you run into any trouble-" Zorin tried to explain, but Rip cut her off.

"I know. I know. Kill zem without a second thought," Rip glanced over at the antique flintlock musket leaned against the wall near her. "I know..."

-------

After a few more games of poker, Alhambra drifted off to sleep while waiting for Pip to deal the cards out. Apparently, winning without mercy took a lot out of the guy. Fenrir took this chance to get up and walk around the room, while Pip used his ill-willed skills to pickpocket the slumbering man. "I want a refund..." Pip grumbled.

"Hey, Pip..." Fenrir stared out a window at the ocean.

"Yeah?" Pip looked up at him after pocketing most of his money, as well as a little extra.

"I have a bad feeling about all of this. Go down below deck and check on our 'property', please," Fenrir nodded his head downward.

"Uh... alright..." Pip shrugged.

"And take this..." Fenrir pulled a tomohawk from his jacket and tossed it over his shoulder to the French mercenary.

"Eh?" he caugth the weapon and examined it.

"The cargo may be hard to get open. Use it if things get too hard to cut through..." Fenrir advised him. His eyes where dull and glazed over, like he was staring into the distance. Pip was just about to ask what was wrong with him, when he noticed what was outside the window.

In the darkness of the night, the full moon reflected eerily off the surface of the sea, casting a long, pale reflection across the water all the way to the boat. Or so it appeared at least. The sight still freaked Pip out, especially when Fenrir began to smirk. "You alright?" Pip asked his comrade.

"Never been better," Fenrir didn't take his eyes off the moon. "You'd better hurry." Pip shrugged, and walked out of the room without saying a word. After several minutes of silence, Fenrir muttered something under his breath.

"Would you mind repeating that?" Alhambra suddenly jerked awake.

"I said..." Fenrir carefully sounded out the words, loud and clear, "Wake up, you filthy vampire."

* * *

Short chapter, but I needed to further the plot really fast. 

A few Nazi puns where in that story. Sam's Stationary... initials SS. 4:20... 4/20 is Hitler's birthday. I had to think up something to show how Nazi-ish these guys are. Witty, eh? Right... well... ahem... review please!


	25. Chapter 25

Hm... I suppose I should end this story soon. I want to take a break from it, but I won't just stop in the middle of it. So I have to wrap the thing up in 5 chapters. 30 will be the last one for this story.

But how to tie off all loose ends in just 5 chapters?

Wait and see.

* * *

"Such a smart mouth for a stupid human," Alhambra smirked as he leaned forward in his chair. Fenrir's lips formed a thin smile. 

"That which kills a monster is always a man," he quoted.

"What's that?" Alhambra raised an eyebrow.

"I held a small conversation with a friend of mine the day before we were hired for this. Which was about a week and half ago... Anyway, he asked me a question. 'Are you a hound, a man, or a monster?' Very philosophical, considering who he is..." Fenrir explained.

"What sort of a stupid question is that?" Alhambra was annoyed at this petty nonsense.

"Are you a hound? A man? Or a monster?" Fenrir asked him.

"I'm a monster, I suppose. And you are just a man," Alhambra leaned forward and rose to his feet. He dusted himself off and smiled. "Ready to die?"

"First of all, don't judge a book by its cover. And..." Fenrir popped his knuckles, "I am ready when you are."

Silence befell the two men. They both stared at each other, waiting for some unseen signal.

"DIE!" both men yelled in unison. With perfect synchronism, they reached into their jackets with their right hands. Still going at the same pace, they withdrew their weapons. Alhambra revealed a simple playing card, the Ace of Spades, while Fenrir brandished a his .357 magnum revolver. They both extended their arms, readied their weapons, and smiled as they released death upon each other.

-----

"Lets see..." Schrodinger mused to himself as he scurried back and forth in the cargo holds. "Food, guns, empty..." he studied each box he came across. Finally, he found what he was looking for. "Vell, this is interesting!" he pulled a large canvas sheet off of two large boxes. One was a simple wooden coffin. The other was a large black coffin made of a mysterious material. Wood, most likely. But the mysterious sheen it reflected made him think about it being made from marble, or some other polished stone. He looked at the wooden coffin and shrugged. "Lets see vat we have in here..." he slowly opened the lid.

"Zzzzzzz..." Seras was fast asleep. She was lumbering peacefully, completely unaware of who was looking down at her. Had she known a Nazi was spying on her, she would have already gone on the attack. But at the moment, she was too busy dreaming of a talking taco.

"Well, she is cute..." Schrodinger admitted. "Too bad she is an enemy. Otherwise..." his voice trailed off. He gently closed the lid and shrugged. "Perhaps we won't have to kill her..." he considered their orders. They where to capture anybody Hellsing sent. They where to offer them a job with Millenium. If they accepted it, then new allies would be made. If not... Schrodinger looked down at the Luger pistol strapped to his belt. He hoped that it wouldn't come to that. New faces among the ranks would be a welcomed sight. Working with the same people for 50 years got old.

Schrodinger looked over at the black coffin. He realized that whatever was in there was probably strong. Otherwise, this vampire wouldn't be in such a rinky-dink box compared to that one. And he didn't want to run the risk of waking it up. He sighed and turned around to leave. He would tell Rip what he saw, and they would decide what to do from there. Unfortunately, half way to the door, a voice from the shadows called out to him.

"_Bonjour_," a friendly voice greeted him. Schrodinger froze. A witness? But how? The entire lower deck was guarded by ghouls!

"How did you make it down here?" Schrodinger asked the darkness.

"The ghouls where tough. But I had a weapon..." the French accented voice replied.

"A gun? Why didn't we hear it?" the cat-boy scratched one of his ears.

"Tomohawks don't go bang," the voice replied stoicly. "My friend lent it to me."

"Oh... well, I'm sorry you had to catch on so soon," Schrodinger shrugged sadly. (A/N: Say that 5 times fast.)

"I'm sorry you had to find out about our little secret..." a hand emerged from the darkness and pointed at the wooden coffin.

"Oh, her? No big deal... we had hoped Hellsing would send a 'special' soldier. A young vampire will serve us just fine. I'm sure she will accept our offer..." the Nazi explained to the interloper.

"Offer?" the hand returned to the shadows.

"Yes..." Schrodinger smirked mischeviously. "It applies to you as well." Only silence came from the shadows. "You can work for us. How would you like that?"

"Us?" the voice asked. "Who is 'us', exactly?"

"Millenium!" Schrodinger threw his arms out, and smiled like a madman. "The Third Reich!"

"WHAT?!" the voice was caught off guard by this revelation.

"We are the last unit of Nazi Germany! We have kept the fight going all these years! And we have flourished! Join with us, and be part of the reconstruction of the 3rd German Empire! The 1000 Year Reich!" Schrodinger was quite caught up in his speech, his eyesb burning with fierce devotion, and a crazy smile that would rival both Alucard's and Anderson's. "That... or die..." he returned to his normal, calm self.

"Third Reich, eh?" the voice paused. The sound of a gun being unholstered reached Schroginer's ears. He smiled. "It is too bad I am French," the voice spat.

"_Viva le resistance_? No suprise..." Schrodinger smiled smugly. In the blink of an eye, he had his own gun unholstered and aimed into the darkness. "I can move faster than you. And I can see in the dark. Any last words?"

"Yes. Turn around," the voice advised him. At that exact moment, the sound of a gun's safety clicked behind Schrodinger's head.

"Huh?!" he spun around and found himself looking straight into the barrel of a large silver-plated pistol. A red-clad man with a wide-brimmed hat and a creepy grin was holding the gun.

"_Guten tag_!" the man smiled, revealing a set of fangs. He then pulled the trigger, and blasted Schrodinger's face into oblivion.

------

"Vat is taking them so long?" Rip looked at her watch. "Schrodinger should be back by now..." She felt somebody tap her on the shoulder. She spun around and smiled at the young Nazi, who looked rather annoyed. "Ah, just the person I needed to see..."

"We have a problem," he told her.

"And what would that be?" Rip asked Schrodinger.

"In the last five minutes, I saw a cute vampire, talked to a French guy, had another vampire shove a freakishly huge gun into my face, had my head blown off, went back to base, told Zorin, and then came back here to warn you," he informed her with just one breath. Rip stared at him for several seconds, blinking in a confused manner.

"Vat?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Don't make me repeat it..." he groaned, "I have a headache."

* * *

Yes, quite the cliff hanger. Fenrir and Alhambra are fighting, Alucard is awake, and Schrodinger has a headache. WHAT'S NEXT!? 

There's no telling.


	26. Chapter 26

Elite Vegito pretty much hit the nail on the head. I have decided to re-write the manga. Not my original intention... And Fenrir kind of ruins it. He doesn't fit in that well with all of this... Oh well... I will most likely do another story after this. Another re-write, and hopefully better. Also, Elite Vegito wanted to see fight scenes. Long, drawn-out, detailed fight scenes. This was of course my original plan, as you will soon see.

And now, ladies and gentelmen, the main event! I give you... the next chapter!

* * *

"Well, zat can't be good," Pip looked down at the spot on the floor where the Nazi's body hd just been. The moment it had hit the ground, the corpse had dissappeared. This did not bode well for the Frenchman. "What iz ze plan?" 

"We kill them all," Alucard shrugged. "Then think of something else."

"Good idea!" Pip gave a sarcastic thumbs-up. "I'll wake up Seras..."

"You might want to be careful. Vampires hate rude awakenings..." Alucard warned him.

"Great..." Pip sighed.

-----

"Go check on Alhambra. He is taking too long," Rip Van Winkle ordered Schrodinger. He snapped off a crisp salute, and then headed off to check on the vampire. "I'll wait for our guests to come up on deck..." she smiled as she picked her musket up and headed out of the cabin.

Schrodinger didn't even bother to knock on the door. He just waltzed into the dinning room and expected to talk to Alhambra. Instead, he found the room filled with smoke. "What happened in here?" he coughed.

"The Hellsing puppet hit a fire extinguisher..." Alhambra's voice emenated from nearby. The smoke filtered out of the open door, and soon Schrodinger saw the remains of what had been a clearly one-sided fight. Alhambra was playing Solitair at a table. Across the room Fenrir was hanging from the wall, pinned to it by a large number of playing cards. His eyes where distant and dull, and his clothing was drenched in blood. "Not much of a fight..."

"Oh. Vell, Rip wanted me to make sure you where still alive..." Schrodinger shrugged.

"Hmph. What did she expect? This human to kill me?" Alhambra scoffed.

**_THUD_**.

Alhmabra and Schrodinger both looked back at the dead soldier. He was was no longer hanging on the wall. Now he was crouched on one knee, surrounded by blood-soaked cards. "Human?" she smiled. "You think I'm human?" his smiled turned into a grin.

"A regenerator?" Alhambra raised an eyebrow.

"_Nein_," Schrodinger smiled. "You vampires have such weak senses..."

"If you want a fight..." Fenrir stood up and popped his knuckles. "Come and get it."

"Not a human, and not a regenerator..." Alhambra rose from his seat. "Quite cocky for a vampire."

"Not a vampire, either..." Schrodinger rolled his eyes. He took a few steps back.

"Well, whatever he is..." Alhambra flicked his wrist, causing several cards to appear between his fingers. "I'll make sure he's dead this time."

"_Ja_, good luck with that..." Schrodinger casually commented. "I'll go tell Rip that you died like a fool." And with that, he was gone into thin air.

"Died like a fool?" Alhambra raised an eyebrow.

"Still curious as to what I am?" Fenrir cocked his head to the side.

"Not really..." Alhambra sneered. "I just want to get this over with as fast as possible."

"Alright," Fenrir shrugged. "Your funeral." Alhambra took this as a cue to begin the fight. He hurled the cards at Fenrir, who ducked beneath them with ease. "Try better, please. I want to have some fun."

"Don't try my patience!" Alhambra dissappeared in a whirlwind of cards. He appeared behind Fenrir and launched a new assault. Fenrir ducked beneath the razor-sharp cards and rolled across the ground. He picked up his fallen pistol and raised it to fire. However, a card suddenly sliced through it, causing the gun to fall apart. "You'll have to do better than that."

"Alright," Fenrir shrugged. He reached into his jacket and removed an antique socket bayonet.

"Is that a bayonet?" Alhambra scoffed.

"Yes. I'm holding on to it until I can return it to its rightful owner. Until then, there is no use in letting it go to waste!" Fenrir rushed forward with stunning speed. Alhambra barely dodged the deadly blade in time.

"You can't expect to kill me with that," Alhambra taunted him. Of course, no sooner had he said this than had Fenrir lodged the knife in his chest.

"Ta-da," Fenrir replied. Suddenly, Alhamdra's body dissappeared into a cloud of cards. "A dopple-ganger?"

"Behind you!" Alhambra appeared behind him. The moment Fenrir spun around, the vampire grabbed him by the throat. Using bone-crushing force, the vampire began to choke him. Or at least he tried to.

"That won't work..." Fenrir calmly stated. He grabbed Alhambra's hands and pried them loose. Without much effort, he snapped the vampire's wrists.

"AAAAH!" Alhambra screamed.

"It takes a lot to kill a werewolf," he smirked, revealing a mouth full of fangs.

-----

"La-dee-dee-dee-da!" Seras sang happily to herself as she skipped through the fields of flowers beneath the sun. She was happy. No problems, worries, or trouble. And thankfully, no Master!

"Seras, wake up!" a voice suddenly rang in her ears.

"Huh?" she looked around. Suddenly, a creepy old guy with wings, wearing only a trench coat and his underwear, appeared in front of her. "AAAAAAAHHH!!!"

"I am the Spirit of the Halconnon. I am here to warn you, Seras Victoria!" the man told her with a spooky tone.

"Warn me of what?!" she stared at the spirit.

"Great danger lies ahead of you! You must fight hard to protect your friends! And you must also make a hard choice, as well!" he waved his hands around.

"What?! Why?!" Seras grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"I cannot say! And don't freak out when you wake up!" he gave her one last bit of advice before dissappearing.

"Why me?!" she screamed as her dream faded away. She suddenly found herself laying in her coffin, face-to-face with Pip Bernadette. He was leaning into her coffin, looking her in the eyes... eye.

"_Bonjour_?" he greeted her kindly.

"Back. Away. Slowly," she was fighting hard to refrain from tearing his head off.

"I was just trying to wake you up..." he shrugged.

"Why?" she sat up.

"It is time to go to war," Alucard suddenly threw her rifle at her from across the room. Pip yelled as it flew past him.

"Watch it!" he barked.

"War with who?" Seras caught the weapon with ease.

"Vampire Nazis," Pip shrugged. "Nothing serious..."

* * *

This story isn't really that funny... Sure, there is comedic relief, but nothing like I had hoped. Oh well... it makes for a good action adventure, at least!


	27. Chapter 27

I really need to wrap this story up... I have a few new things planned, but this has to get done first. Oh well, no sense in rushing it. Just having trouble getting everything in order. All my ideas sound good in my head, but once I write them down the fall apart! Quite frustrating...

Right, well... This will probably end around Chapter 40. Also, on December 24, I will be posting two new stories. Hopefully, they will work out well...

* * *

"Und now ze hunter avaits ze prey..." Rip whispered to herself as she stood atop the bow of the yacht. She had her musket resting over her shoulder, and her eyes wandered back and forth over the deck. "They should be arriving soon..."

"_Crrrrrrcchxxch..._" the sound of static caught her attention. She quickly plucked a small radio from her belt and keyed the transmitter.

"Hello?" Rip asked.

"_Crrrrrrxxxxxxch..._" only static answered her. Rip shrugged, but just as she was about to switch the radio off, a voice replied. "_Gutten tag, Frauline_."

"Who is this?" Rip raised an eyebrow. She could not recognize that voice, and yet they spoke her language.

"Oh... Just a werewolf..." the voice answered. Rip stared at the radio. "I understand you are loyal followers of the Third Reich?"

"_Ja..._" Rip answered. Perhaps one of Hellsings "dogs" had realized the advantages of their offer.

"Excellent!" the voice replied jovialy. A loud gunshot rang out from below deck. "I needed a reason to kill this vampyric trash..."

"Alhambra?" Rip smirked. She never really liked him that much anyway. So what if he had been executed? What's a war without a few casualties...

"Dead. Now he is, at least... He gave me all the info on your little "operation"... I had no other uses for him. I'll admit, he was good at poker. But not at fighting... especially without arms," the voice chuckled.

"So, you're one of Hellsing's pets?" Rip didn't care to hear him brag about killing cannon fodder.

"Pet? Hahah... Yes, I suppose so. The name is Fenrir... And you are?" the voice asked.

"I am the Huntress Rip Van Winkle," Rip answered with a smile.

"Well then, Huntress, we shall see how you do when the hounds are hunting you..." Fenrir taunted her.

"Oh, I am quite sure you shall be worthy of being my prey..." Rip retorted.

"Hahah! We shall see... Auf wiedersien!" Fenrir bid her farewell, and then silence filled the radio. Rip laughed softly, and then changed frequencies.

"Schrodinger?" Rip addressed her subordinate.

"_Jaaaaaa_?" came a smark reply.

"Where are you?" Rip asked.

"I'm heading for the engine room. You want me to rig the detonator?" Schrodinger informed her.

"Not yet. I want to have some fun... There is a worthy foe aboard," Rip smirked.

"Who? Ze werewolf or ze vampire?" he asked.

"Hm..." Rip paused to think. "Whichever one gets within my sights first!" she chuckled.

"Oh, vell... I'm going to go wait in ze engine room," Schrodinger told her. With that, his radio went off.

-----

"Me and the Captain will go look for our enemies... You go find Fenrir," Alucard ordered Seras. She smiled and saluted him, lifted her rifle, and then headed out the door. "Kill anything you see."

A few minutes later, Seras was essentially lost. She had been all over the ship, searching every square inch of the bottom decks. All she had found where a large number of ghouls, which she killed without hesitation... much to her own shame. But, just as she walked through a door to the stairway up to the upper decks, something strange happened.

"Oof!" Seras grunted as she ran into something. The force knocked her down flat on her back. She sat up slightly, rubbed her head, and winced at the bump she felt. "What was that?"

"_Tut mir lied_," somebody apologized in German. Seras realized that somebody was sitting down in front of her. It was a young lad, perhaps in his teens, dressed in a Nazi uniform. He was also rubbing his head. "I am sorry..."

"Eep!" she jumped slightly. Was this one of the Nazi vampires Alucard had mentioned? Without a second thought, she grabbed her rifle and raised it towards the boy. However, he copied her movements, and drew a Mauser pistol from his belt. The two enemies stared at each other, and at the weapons aimed at their faces. "Drop your weapon!"

"You drop your veapon!" he barked.

"You drop your weapon!" Seras growled.

"No, you!" he tightened his grip on the pistol. The two foes sat there for minutes, neither of them moving a muscle. Finally, the blonde-haired boy lowered his gun and sighed. "I can't shoot a woman," he smirked.

"Hmph..." Seras smiled. She lowered her Harkonnen slightly, but kept it aimed at the Nazi.

"My name is Schrodinger. Und you are?" he introduced himself.

"My name is... Seras..." she replied.

"A member of Hellsing, I presume?" he sat up and dusted himself off. "I am supposed to give you an offer..." he gestured towards her. "Since I already gave my huge speech and got my head blown off because of it, let me just sum it up nice and easy: Ve vant you to join Millenium. Ve're a group of Nazis who are continuing the legacy of the Third Reich. Interested?" he smiled innocently.

"Uh..." Seras stared at him, her mouth open in shock. "NO!" she screamed after a few seconds.

"Hmph... a pity..." he shrugged. "I am supposed to kill you if you say no..." Seras started to raise her gun, but he held up his hands. "But like I said, I can't shoot a woman. So I'll just leave you be for now... I must go take care of a few things..." Schrodinger turned to walk away, but his head exploded before he could take another step.

"EEK!" Seras shrieked as his corpse smacked the floor. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"A headshot..." came a casual answer from the stairs. Seras stood up and leaned through the doorway. At the top of the stairs, Fenrir was holding a smoking pistol in his hand. "I think I get bonus points for that..."

* * *

This plot is getting nowhere, right? Well, that is how it may look. But I'm just setting everything up... Next chapter: Alucard vs. Rip! 


	28. Chapter 28

Writters block is a serious pain in the neck. Couldn't think of how to write out the next few chapters, but I DID come up with an amazing plot twist that no one will ever expect! This story had 2 chapters left after this... I want this thing over with soon, so I can focus on other fan fic ideas I have.

Also, I saw the second Hellsing OVA, and I got Volume 5 of the manga. Bookstore was sold out of 6 and 7... Crap.

Anyway, Luke and Jan were well portrayed in the OVA. A lot better than the anime... I was hoping they would show the museum scene were Alucard and Anderson almost fight, but sadly it didn't make it. And I just realized that they didn't show Pip! I need to go back to youtube and check... I might have missed part of it, since the one I saw was broken in 6 pieces. They did show the Major, though. Which is good... I think they might actually do the entire manga into OVAs, which would be friggin' awsome. But I dunno if they would actually go through and do all that.

As for Volume 5, poor Rip. She was cool... Why is it that every time I think a character is cool, they die? And in painful ways, too? FMA, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Wolf's Rain... If it is an anime I have seen, at least one of my favorite characters, if not my most favorite character, died. I need to stop picking favorites... O.o

Anyway, on with the story.

* * *

"Would it help if I said I was sorry?" Fenrir asked Seras. They were walked around in circles it seemed below deck, and Seras was not talking to him. She was angry about his shooting of the young Nazi she had met. Seras continued to ignore him as he tried to get her to cheer up. "I came down the stairs, saw you, saw a Nazi... So I did what came naturally!" 

"Shooting somebody in head as they walk away comes naturally to you?" she remarked coldly.

"Ow, that came out wrong... But I deserved that..." he shrugged.

"He didn't do anything wrong!" Seras growled at Fenrir as he followed her down a long hallway.

"I saw him 5 minutes ago when I was fighting that guy with the crazy cards! Don't ask about that, by the way..." Fenrir muttered the last part under his breath. "He was a Nazi, and he had no qualms with me getting sliced and diced by that maniac!"

"You still shouldn't have shot him!" she yelled over he shoulder.

"I would have had to do it eventually!" he retorted. "It's a ship! If I had let him go, we would have just had to meet and kill him later on!" Seras didn't have a comeback. She simply glared daggers at him. "Look, I'm sorry I shot the guy, but- GET DOWN!" Fenrir suddenly grabbed her and threw her to the floor. Instantly, bullets tore into H as two men in Waffen-SS garb emerged from a doorway up ahead and began to fire. The STG-44 guns they had easily ripped through the werewolf. The bullets also hit the ceiling lights above them, blacking out a majority of the hallway.

"FENRIR!" Seras screamed as her comrade's body was riddled with bullets. Once the firing ceased, he slumped to the floor beside her.

"Don't move," Fernrir whispered weakly. "Play dead!"

"Did ve get zem?" one of the soldiers whispered.

"I know ve got ze guy... I dunno about ze girl..." the other replied.

"Go check it out..." the soldier handed him a flashlight and pointed into the darkness.

"Ja..." the other soldier nodded. He flicked on the flashlight and held it aloft with his left hand, while he clutched the still-smoking STG-44 assualt rifle in his right hand. He cautiously approached the spot where Fenrir and Seras had fallen. When he got near enough to see, the flashlight revealed Seras sprawled out on the ground in a puddle of blood. "Ve got ze girl, but I don't see-" the man was interupted by a knife being held to his throat and a hand covering his mouth.

"Tell him we are dead, and I will let you live..." Fenrir whispered in the man's ear. The man nodded, and Fenrir took his hand off the man's mouth.

"I..." the soldier stammered, and Fenrir put more pressure on the bayonet. "Ve got zem!"

"Good boy," Fenrir commented.

Bloody brits..." the soldier spat.

"I'm American, thank you very much..." Fenrir chuckled.

"All ze same, I hate zem equally," the soldier smirked.

"Hey, vat is taking so long?" the other soldier called out.

"I'm just checking zey're pockets!" the soldier chuckled.

"Good job, keep it up. You're a vampire, I take it?" Fenrir asked.

"No, he just has fangs for the heck of it," Seras sat up and rolled her eyes. "You're blood smells nasty, by the way..." Seras pointed at the puddle of blood she had been lying in.

"Werewolf blood is an acquired taste for most vampires," he shrugged.

"You're a verewolf?" the soldier's eyes widened in shock.

"Ja," Fenrir nodded. "Let me guess, you thought they were extinct or something?"

"Nein..." he soldier smirked. "I just thought ve had them all wit us."

"Beg pardon?" Fenrir raised an eyebrow.

"OPEN FIRE!" the soldier screamed. "ZEY ARE STILL ALIVE!"

"Uh oh!" Seras gasped as she dove back to the ground.

"Idiot!" Fenrir hurled the soldier back down the hallway towards his ally. The soldier screamed as he flew through the air and smashed into his comrade before he could open fire. "RUN SERAS!"

-----

"So, you're ze biggest, baddest, most awsome vampire of all time, _oui_?" Pip smirked as he followed Alucard around the ship. "And yet you have no sense of direction. This is priceless!"

"You're French," Alucard casually replied, "So does that mean your blood would taste like wine?"

Pip turned pale. "Um... So where are we supposed to go?"

"First we have to find a way up on deck..." Alucard growled.

"Why don't you just blow a hole in the ceiling or something?" Pip pointed up.

"I don't want to waste bullets," Alucard replied, "Nor do I have an gren-"

Pip handed him a grenade. "Saving it for a rainy day..."

-----

**_BOOM!!!_**

A small explosion ripped through the deck of the yacht, blasting a hole in the center of the bow deck. Once the smoke cleared, the forms of two men crawled through. That is to say, once crawled while the other appeared to hover.

"Well, zat was interesting..." Pip admitted.

"Quite," Alucard barked.

"What?" Pip looked around. H froze when he saw what Alucard was staring at.

"You aren't ze verewolf," said the woman who was standing on the tip of the bow. "But you will still serve as excellent prey," she flashed a fang-filled smile as she cocked the hammer on the antique musket clutched in her hands. "Und my varhead will punish all without distinction..."

**_KABLAM!_**

* * *

2 chapters left, yet so much to cover! How will it all turn out? And is everything as it truely seems? 

Find out next time!


	29. Chapter 29

Alright, folks, here is is! The next to last chapter! The next chapter shall be the conclussion!

If you like Bleach, you will be pleased to know I am extending my range on fan fic writting to that anime. Once this is over, I shall begin writting Bleach ffs. Comedy, of course. I suck at anything serious, as you can all see.

And now it is time to watch the fight...

* * *

"Und my varhead vill punish all without distinction," the woman stated as she leveled her musket with Alucard's head. 

**_KABOOOOM!!!!_**

Smoke and flame erupted from the muzzel of the rifle. Alucard barely flinched as the musket ball ripped through his chest, obliterating his heart. "Hm?" the vampire raised an eyebrow and looked down at his profusely bleeding chest. "Your aim is good, I'll give you that. But it will take much more than that to-"

Alucard was cut off by another shot tearing through his throat. "Hngh?!" he choked. He had been shot again, but the woman had only fired once. She was no leaning against the railing of the ship's deck, casually reloading at a relaxed pace. She smirked as her eyes met Alucard's confused gaze. Again, Alucard was struck by another bullet. He stumbled slightly from the force of the blow.

"What iz going on?!" Pip jumped backwards away from the vampire. "How is she-"

Captain Burnadette was not spared from the sniper's wrath. Without warning, a bullet struck him in the left shoulder. He growled in pain as he clutched his bleeding shoulder. The injury wasn't enough to kill him. And he could still fight and move. But that changed when another shot ripped through his right leg. He yelled in agony as his knees gave out from under him and he dropped to the deck.

"Zis is wery entertaining..." the woman commented as she watched the Frenchman roll around on the deck and the vampire be shredded by the hail of "gunfire". After a few more hits, Alucard's corpse dropped to the ground, riddled from head to toe with holes. "Zat was all he had to offer? I was expect much, much more..."

"Urghh..." Pip clentched his teeth in pain as he tried to hold onto his leg and stop himself from bleeding to death. "Zis... zis isn't good..." He glared at the hunk of swiss cheese that had been Alucard. "A lot of help you were..."

**_Click._**

Pip froze. Slowly, he turned around to face the source of the noise. The woman was standing behind him, smiling down the barrel of her rifle, which was inches from his head. "And who might you be, to have bested the "Mighty" Alucard?" Pip sneered.

"I am ze Huntress Rip Van Winkle," the woman explained. "It is a pity _you_ could not have been as fun to prey upon..."

"Heh. Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh hah. Hah hah hah hah. Hah hah! HAH HAH!! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!" Mad laughter filled the air. Pip and Rip both spun to face the source of the chilling chorus of madness. Standing in a pool of his own blood was Alucard, a sneer on his face and guns in his hands. "It takes much more than that to actually _kill_ me. You're magic bullets may be powerful, but only a Man can kill a Monster."

"Oh?" Rip raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I agree with zat statement..." With a smile, she raised her rifle to fire. "LET ZE HUNT BEGIN ANEW!"

**_KABOOM!!!!_**

-------------

"This sucks, this sucks, this sucks..." Fenrir repeated over and over as he trudged back and forth behind Seras. "We're lost. This sucks!"

"If you say that one more time," Seras stated calmly, "I will drain you dry."

"Oh come on, we both know you can't bring yourself to drink a person's blood. And I'm a werewolf, remember? You'd probably puke..." Fenrir answered smugly.

"You're not acting like yourself..." Seras commented.

"Full moon. Sorry..." the Lycanthrope pointed upwards.

"Hm... I see..."

"Not much I can do about it, really. On the night of the full moon, I'm stronger, but I'm also more... uncivilized, to say the least."

"Indeed?"

"Yes. Hah... A civilized werewolf... What a contradiction!"

"Lets check behind this door," Seras grabbed the handle of the door in front of her. "Maybe it leads to another stairwell..."

"Wait!" Fenrir suddenly barked. "Don't open that-"

**_KACHURRRRNK._**

"Too late..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Seras and Fenrir both screamed as a horde of Ghouls burst through the doorway.

"I found the crew!" Seras screamed as she rapidly backed away from the monsters.

"Tell them this cruise sucks!" Fenrir yelled as he wrestled with the zombie-fied Captain. "I want off at the next island!"

---------------

"HAHAHAHAH!!!" Rip cackled as she jumped back and forth across the deck. Alucard couldn't keep pace with her speed, especially after having his right arm shot off. He was having a hard time regenerating his injuries, since they occured repeatedly and in random places. "Zis is fun, such fun! I haven't had a hunt like zis in ages!"

"I'm glad I'm not the only one enjoy this!" Alucard grinned as he fired shot after shot at the Huntress. He didn't even flinch now with each blow he recieved, he was so intent on ending her life. "The fun is only just beginning!"

"Don't mind me..." Pip waved his hand in the air, then quickly retracted it. "I'll just lie here zen... bleeding... profusely... wish I had a band-aid... or a hot girl... or both... both would be nice... and some cigarettes... screw the band-aids... I'll just take ze girl and ze smokes..."

* * *

You can't tell me Pip wouldn't do that... 


	30. Chapter 30

Here it is folks, the finale. Last chapter in the story... I hope you've all enjoyed it. I myself think it could have been a lot better. But if the fans are happy, I am happy. So enjoy the last chapter!

Unless I do a blooper chapter...

Which I might. : )

* * *

"Note to self, warn Seras BEFORE she opens the door holding back an army of zombies..." Fenrir grumbled as he and Seras walked up the stairs to get on deck.

"Oh, SHUT up..." Seras growled. They reached the top of the stairs, and she pushed open the door. They walked on deck, and were met with the sight of chaos.

"Woah." Fenrir blinked dumbly.

The deck was covered in blood, and riddled with bullet holes. Empty shell casings and musket-shot packets littered the area. Pip was laying in the middle of the deck in a pool of blood, his face deathly pale. The heaving of his chest, however, proved that he still lived. Albiet, barely. And then, at the very front of the ship, Alucard and Rip Van Winkle were finally at the end of their battle. Alucard had Rip by the throat, and was holding her off the deck with his left hand. Her gun lay discarded at his feet.

"Any last words, Huntress?" Alucard leered as he placed the barrel of the Jackel against her forehead.

"Dang, did we miss the fight?" Fenrir's shoulders slumped.

"I guess so..." Seras frowned.

"Zer wasn't much to it..." Pip sat up and meekly shrugged.

"Erk... ugh..." Rip choked as Alucard tightened his grip. "Ja! I hope you can swim!"

"Huh?" Alucard raised an eyebrow.

**_FABOOOOOM!!!_**

A violent explosion below deck shook the ship from bow to stern. Alucard and Seras swayed with the motion, whilst Fenrir was hurled bodily across the deck, through the railing, and into the ocean. "What was that?!" Alucard looked around.

"Zat..." Schrodinger's voice answered, "Was ze engine room exploding. Ze ship vill sink in about... 3 minutes..."

"Auf wiedersein!" Rip laughed. Alucard turned back to face her, and foudn himself looking inside the barrel of a German pistol. Rip had pulled the Luger from her jacket while Alucard was distracted.

**_KRAKOW!_**

Alucard's body rocked with the impact, and he released Rip from his grasp. Siezing her chance, she dove over the railing into the ocean. Or so it had appeared. Instead, she landed in a small boat next to Schrodinger and the surviving Waffen-SS soldiers. "Go, go, go! Schnell!" Rip barked.

"Master!" Seras rushed to Alucard, who's face had yet to regenerate.

"Silver bullets..." Alucard's mishappen mouth growled. "I hate them..."

Seras sighed. Fenrir was in the ocean, her Master was headless, Pip was on the verge of death... Seras remembered that he was actuall kill-able. She rushed over to the wounded mercenary, who looked rather annoyed at his current position in life. "Are you alright?!"

"I'M SHOT! DO I LOOK ALRIGHT?!" Pip yelled. Seras gave him a piercing glare. "Ehhh... I mean, no, I am not alright. I'm bleeding to death, the ship is sinking, and we're all screwed..."

"This can't be happening..." Seras clasped her hands against the side of her face and shook her head.

"Actuallyyyyy..." a deep voice crooned behind her. Seras spun around and screamed. A large, balding old guy was standing behind her. And he only had on underwear and a bathrobe. "It is not happening!"

"WHO ARE YOU!!!" Seras pointed at the old guy.

"I am the Spirit of the Harkonnen! I am here to tell you that everything has been a dream!" the old man raised his arms as though he was preaching a dramatic sermon.

"Eh?" her left eye twitched. "A dream?"

"Zis dream sucks..." Pip grumbled.

"Yes!" the old man boomed. "Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!"

* * *

"WAKE UP!!!" Alucard yelled at his fledgling. She opened her eyes and looked up at her Master from inside her coffin.

"Ah!" Seras gasped and sat up. She was back in her room, safe and sound. "Oh thank God!" Seras exclaimed, not noticing Alucard flinch. "That was a horrible dream!"

"This will be a living nightmare if you don't get ready," Alucard threatened her.

"Ready for what?" Seras raised an eyebrow.

"Initiation," Alucard grinned. "Integra has hired some new recuits."

Seras fainted.

* * *

"Come on, hurry up!" Alucard growled at his fledgling as they raced down the hallway leading to Integra's office. Seras grabbed the dooknob and opened the door, while Alucard just walked through the wall. They entered the room and looked at Integra, who was frowning.

"You're late," Integra informed them.

"My apologies, my Master," Alucard bowed.

"And you just scared our recruits," Integra pointed across the room. Leaning against the wall, a group of battle-hardened mercenaries were staring in terror at the vampire who had just walked through the wall. Most of them were shaking, in fact.

"My apologies, gentlemen," Alucard didn't bow that time, however.

"Apology accepted," sneered a French-accented voice.

"Mr. Bernadotte, I would heavily suggest you do not aggrivate a vampire," warned Integra.

'Bernadotte?' Seras thought to herself. 'Sounds just like the name of the guy in my dream...'

"I was only being polite," the soldiers stood aside so as to reveal their leader.

'That is the guy from my dream...' Seras felt her legs weaken when she saw a man with a braid and eyepatch.

"Alucard, Seras, these are the Wild Geese. They will be working with us," Integra gestured at the soldiers.

"Great..." Seras squeeked nervously. The only way this could have gotten worse was if there was a guy named-

"Also, we have hired a Mr. Fenrir H. Wolfenstein," Integra pointed at the opposite wall. Seras slowly swivilled her head around and stared mouth-open at the new recruit.

"Hi," the soldier waved at her. He was already in full Hellsing gear, including a ski mask obscuring his face. "Nice to meat y-"

"WEREWOLF!" Seras screamed and pointed at the soldier. "HE'S A WEREWOLF! I HAD A DREAM! HE WAS IN IT! HE WAS A WEREWOLF!"

Integra, Alucard, Captain Bernadotte, and the soldier stared at her like she was crazy.

"What?" Integra arched her brows.

"Police Girl... have you been drinking spoiled blood?" Alucard tilted his head to the side.

"Werewolves, too?" Captain Bernadotte nervously stammered.

"I assure you, I'm not werewolf," the soldier waved his hands in a calming manner.

"Ehe... sorry..." Seras wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

"I'm a Soul Reaper," he stated casually.

"A what?" Seras didn't like the sound of that word.

"I'm just kidding..." he chuckled.

"Oh..." Seras sighed.

"I am a werewolf."

**_Thud._**

Seras and Captain Bernadotte both fainted.

* * *

I had no idea how to end this story. I should have stopped at chapter 20, but nooooo I wanted to continue. Well, that's that.

I hope you enjoyed the show! Please leave your feedback and tell me how much you loved and/or hated this story in a review!


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